I am going to be honest.
My perspective on dating and my future husband has shifted the past year since blogging and not in a bad way, but in a more healthier way that I believe truly gets to the heart of the message and I finally want to update this blog on that.
You see, a year ago, I ended up getting my heartbroken and learned a valuable lesson in terms of dating and my future husband, thus making me want to write this.
And that lesson is this: Your life does not begin with a husband, but it is happening right now. Therefore, fall in love with JESUS, live your life, accomplish your dreams, become financial stable, learn a new hobby, become confident in who you are, and then one day, the Lord will allow the right man to cut in at the right time.
When I got my heartbroken last June, I finally realized how my mentality wasn’t exactly correct-I was so fixated on one thing happening in my life to the point where I was missing out on all that the Lord wanted me to see “right now.”
I was missing out on adventures, on friendships, and on simply living in the grace of His presence. I was placing such an overwhelming pressure of “meeting my husband” that I was forgetting that this stage of life is not up to me, but up to the Lord. Therefore, when I stopped worrying about when my husband would come around, I felt peace beyond my understanding and into HIS understanding.
Because in the end, my husband will come around at the right time and when the Lord sees fit.
Within the past year of finally letting go and trusting God, I joined the worship team at my church, I fell even more in love with Jesus, I have been traveling, I have made deeper connections with my friends, I have received two raises at work, I have become financially independent, and I have become so confident in who I am in Christ, that I am not worried about who stays in my life or who leaves.
Because my worth is NOT dependent on who views me as “worthy” or “not worth enough” but it depends on HIS Word.
Do I still pray for my future husband? Yes, of course. I pray for him everyday and that he becomes the man the Lord needs him to be. I also pray for his heart, his mind, his aspirations, and his current goals, and I also pray for his health and wellbeing.
However, am I obsessed with my future husband? No.
In the past, I will admit that I probably was overly obsessed with the marriage stage of life and yearned for it to happen, but I realized that I won’t be able to fully enjoy the blessing of marriage if I am not thanking God for my current season of singleness, and my last relationship showed me that.
You see, anything that we place before the Lord becomes an idol, and so often do us single women place marriage and our future husbands as our idol, which makes us a parallel to the Israelites-the adulterous bride who broke the very heart of God. The more I grow as a young woman in the Lord, the more I want Him to become my One thing as it is HE who gave me eternal life, not a husband.
While I’m 24 and I do want to get married and start a family, am I desperate for it? No, because in the end, the Word says that Jesus is our portion, our strength, and is our One thing needed for eternity, and the Word also says that it is HE who opens doors, not me. While I am having faith for my future husband, I am not going to put life on hold and stare at my door waiting for him to “knock,” for I promise you, my future husband will not come knocking anytime soon if I am just sitting around doing nothing.
So I am going to chase after Jesus, pursue my dreams and live my life in audacious joy while also praying for my future husband because you can do BOTH. You can live within the current season of your life and view it as a blessing while still praying for the future husband.
And I can promise that your future husband will most likely find you when you’re living in the joy of your current season rather than living in desperation for the future.
So become a confident daughter of the King who is chasing after Jesus and who is going after her calling while living in audacious joy, for I promise that this will be more attractive than begging and pleading for something that is out of your control to begin with.