My mom passed away.
In fact, my mom passed away two months ago today on January 19th very suddenly with no warning in sight.
And if you know me personally, then you know I already lost my dad five years ago and here I am losing my last parent-my best friend, my biggest supporter, and my most beloved mother.
You see, the past two months have been a rollercoaster for me. From the various emotions of grief, to having big decisions I have to make, to being afraid of making a wrong choice–things have been overwhelming to say the least.
However, at the same time, I have seen some of the most tender mercies of the Father. Through friends reaching out, inviting me to get coffee, to getting a raise at work, to having the most wonderful church family on the planet, I have seen so many blessings of the Father.
Right now, I am navigating so many unknowns–as a young woman in her mid-twenties, life is anything but what I thought it would be right now in some retrospects, for never would I have thought that I would be without both of my parents so soon. However, even in this season of brutal grief at this reality, I have come to see the glory of God in some of the most tender ways.
The glory of God that goes beyond my circumstances and into the faithfulness that remains true.
Though I am without earthly parents, I have come to know the Father more deeply as the very breathe of who He is becomes my very breathe. The fact of HIM being my Heavenly Father who will never change or forsake me has become integral to my reality as He is the Father who is guiding me through every trial, tribulation, and day to day life.
Within the past two months, I have fallen on my face crying to the Lord to pierce my heart for what breaks His. Within the past two months, I have clung so deeply to the Father than I have been in-tune with HIs Spirit to the point of Him speaking to me on every single matter that I have walked through. Within every moment that I endure whether it be moments of loneliness, sadness, melancholy, or overall numbness, the Word of God fills evert fiber of my being as His minsters His word to me.
And so even though I am walking through the heartbreaking reality of both my parents passing away, there is one thing that I know for sure-I will never be an orphan, for through Christ Jesus I have been made a daughter of God who will forever have her Father going before her.
This reality–the reality of being a daughter of the King–has made me see the astounding glory of God in more ways than one.
And so while I am currently taking things day by day as I cling to the faithfulness of God, I choose joy in every which way through the good and through those moments of grief.
I know that I will see my parents one day and there is no doubt about it, and as long as there is breathe within my lungs, I shall praise the Lord my God forever for He is holy, worthy, and forever clothed in majesty so glorious that I fall to my face each time.
It is through that same glory that I am smiling and it is through that same glory that I choose to praise His name, for though the mountains may shake and rumble, my God will forever remain firm.