Something I never thought I would ever see as my battle consumed me in the earliest months of this year as I spent many nights in tears. The pain, the isolation, the low self-worth, and the constant burden that reminded me of its existence held me bound to fake smiles and monotonous living.
At the beginning of 2020, I was in the biggest battle of control; control over the pain, control over the perfection I so desperately wanted, and control over various factors of my life. And yet, even as I so desperately tried to do all I could to keep my head above the waves, I somehow drowned each time.
But something happened in April, something that was one of the scariest things I ever did, but was the ultimate key in how the narrative changed.
With a broken and raspy voice, I surrendered my battles to the Lord, I surrendered the pen to my life, and I surrendered the chains in exchange for freedom that had a fullness of joy.
And here I am now finally living in the freedom I never thought I’d ever see. While it wasn’t an “instant” thing after saying “Amen,” with faithful devotion to the Lord, finding a Christian community, and with realizing my true worth, that freedom was achieved over the past seven months.
The one thing that I have realized since surrendering the control of my life and surrendering my battles, is that His faithfulness is great unto us, even in the most unlikely situations. Through the deepest valleys and the highest mountains, His love for us will forever be our anchor to the ground and a firm foundation in which we stand upon.
Here I am now living in freedom that is filled with liberation and joy that is ever so audacious, and it is simply because of his faithfulness unto me.
Happy 2021 to all of my followers and may you find that same freedom in His never-ending mercy.