I feel stupid for doing this again, but I am going to admit, Jesus really must not want be to be consumed in social media at all as of now, for here I am again being convicted, but this time, I am not doing another little hiatus, for it’s the final pull of the plug.
However, I find it quite ironic that not even 24 hours after I decide to update my Instagram after a month, the Lord is calling me to just fully pull the plug due to reasons I will get into. I never intended to wake up and then hours later do as I did today, but the conviction of the Lord can happen at any moment, and I am going to as He sees fit, for oftentimes, what the Lord wants us to do seems impracticable at times, but it will later show the bigger picture,
In the end, I knew that if wanted to stop “breaking hiatus seasons,” I needed to fully rip the bandaid off by fully deactivating my accounts to rid myself of any temptation to just log in.
I know I have done this before, and I will admit, I have failed in several of my attempts, for I am a human. I say I am going to leave, but then after two weeks, any human would wonder what’s happening, and the Lord convicted me of that as well, but after what I say on my news feed today that was quite soul crushing, I am leaving.
However, what’s the purpose in sharing photos when it’s only photos of your “good parts” of life? What’s the purpose in updating statuses when you aren’t going to be honest and say “My life sucks right now?” What is the true point of it all when it’s truly all artificial in some ways? Now, I am not against social media and I do believe there can be authentic connection to be found, but as a person who truly values authentic things and where time is being spent, this morning made me wonder, “What social media all for?”
What good is sharing church outfits and so forth when it’s truly all for nothing?
What good is it sharing photos that are just to be forgotten for another day?
What good is it when we are living in our phones rather than communicating person to person, going to coffee shops, and enjoying quality time together?
Most importantly, what good is it doing our walks with the Lord when all we see are targeting posts, political arguments, and people turning each other within comment sections within the baking of an eye?
What is the point?’
Maybe it’s because I am under conviction, but I truly feel as if the Lord is whispering that many of us use social media in a vain way; a way that glorifies us more than Him. Sure, we post a verse in our bios, our captions, and so forth, but are we using social media for His glory or to make us look interesting with curated themes, articulate photos, and so forth?
While we are ALL guilty of this, I am convicted over it; convicted over the lack of authentic communication as we live more in our phones rather than in life. As we sit in front of our phone screens waiting for a replying, waiting for the post togo through, and so forth, our Savior is begging us for our attention, begging us for half the attention we give to someone who could unfriend us in a heartbeat over a difference, and begging us to just love Him as much as we love social media.
That is what I am under conviction over; under conviction that I know I could spend more time in His word, but choose to pick up my phone. I am under conviction, for I know there have been times where I felt the desire to read His word as I hungered it, but I choose to check my phone first before going to the Word first, and what for? To see posts that only show the happy, the good, and the bright?
We think we know the people on social media, but do you really know what they are doing when they are logged off? Do we truly know them? Sure, they say they are godly, love Christ, and so forth, but how do we truly know such thing, for again, social media only shows the good, and it is easy to keep a front up when it’s all electronic. There are two sides to every single coin, and one side is always shiny, but the other side that never sees the sun is oftentimes rusty and dull.
I know I am a saved by grace woman, an imperfect woman, and a woman who is called to die to her flesh every single day, for my biggest fear, the fear that shakes me to my core, is being away from God. Therefore, if I feel as if anything is taking time away from my Lord, I will get rid of it, for it always starts out small, but then after awhile, we find ourselves in places He never wanted us to walk. To some it might be taking drastic measures, and to them that think that, I understand. However, my faith means too much to me to allow anything to take place of time that I could be giving more to Him; therefore, Iv’e decided to pull the plug.
However, there is more to be uncovered, for social media not only causes one to spend more time to waste away, but it is also crushes the spirit, which my spirit is oftentimes crushed due to seeing something that is horrible or downright depressing in nature, which isn’t serving my walk with the Lord one bit. Almost daily, I see something that causes my spirit to utter lose joy, and as I am currently trying to seek joy in the Lord without allowing the reality of my circumstances to control it, social media is making that desire mighty hard to achieve.
Social media, especially with this election season, has become toxic, very, very toxic, and as a woman who believes in joy, radiating, joy, and being happy in the Lord, that crushes the spirit more than anything else can. Social media has become more of a burden than a blessing and it has become as stressful as the news in some ways, for you never know what bad news you will see and you never know what irate conversations you will hear.
We have groups of people on social media who call you a “monster” or a “horrible” person on if you are so called “silent” or “not posting enough” when it comes to certain things when they have no idea who we are as a person. Therefor, the constant jumping to conclusions about who I am a Christian woman, who I am as a person, and who I am in general had to go, for I will not allow any one-sided organization or people try to tell me who they think I am based on what I don’t do or will do.
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Therefore, the Lord has convicted me not only due to it taking my attention off of Him, bur due to it killing my spirit. The Lord has had enough with my spirit being crushed, for I’ve asked Him time and time again to give me a fullness of joy that is not dependent on the things around me, and He is now calling me to get rid of the thing that is causing part of the problem; the toxicity of social media.
I am not against social media, and I will be back probably after the election season when people go back to normal, hopefully, but for now, I want to focus on growing so much in the Lord to the point where I am in the Word every change I can get to where I don’t check my phone. I want to focus on growing in the Lord to the point where I am not worrying about what might be going on or what might be happening, and I want to grow in the Lord to the point where I am so close to the feet of the throne that I can almost touch His robe theoretically.
That is what I want; to fully love and deeply know Him, for while I know He fully loves and deeply knows me, I want to love Him and know Him more.
So I have officially done what I couldn’t do due to being too connected on this hyper socialized world, and that deactivate my accounts to seek the one who is begging and yearning for such attention.
And it feels good to get away from the articulated posts and the spirit crushing world of social media in return for the raw, beautiful, love of God that wants me to simply love Him more whole giving it all to Him at the feet of the throne.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting” Psalm 139:23-24
(Also, this song has truly been the most beautiful thing I have had on repeat for awhile, and the words of the song have also brought me to full surrender as well as I thank Him for all that He has done. Therefore, my goal through all of this is to have Christ magnified throughout me not just now, but with my entire life.)