This isn’t my typical post where I write almost 2,000 words, but this has been placed on my heart lately, especially today due to many things that have been happening in my life such as the Lord reminding me of things I wrote a year ago, re-watching a sermon that the Lord used to convict me, and through understanding that I am right where I need to be in the Lord’s will rather than mine. Therefore, to anyone going through through similar season, here’s my story.
My story of going being a woman who cried “Lord, help my unbelief” to a woman who declares the faithfulness God in the dungeon and the season of drought, for even in the drought, I shall dance in disspantenl, for my God is forever good.
In June 2019, the Lord pressed me to watch a specific sermon about “the wilderness season,” and when I went to the Word that June after watching such a sermon, the Lord told me that I was entering the season of “the wilderness.” At first, I didn’t feel much of a “wilderness” type change, but as the tide changed and the path began to feel more like a desolate wilderness, I began to feel my faith be challenged as refinement churned in my soul while God turned up the heat of His refining fire. By the end of September of 2019, I was deep into the throws of a spiritual battle that tested my soul as conviction rang through my bones.
The Lord was after my one trait that displeased Him the most; my inability to declare Him as faithful and good even in the unknown that I walked. This type of refinement and growth required me to go through the refiner’s, humility, and it required me to fall in utter surrender before the throne as I realized that I was questioning the All-Mighty and All Powerful God who knows beginning to end.
With such lessons comes great refinement and with great refinement comes tender growth in the Lord. As I journeyed through the wilderness towards the faithfulness of God, I learned that to fear God is not to be afraid of Him, but it is terrified to be away from Him and that the test of faith is not just believe in what is not seen, but it is declaring Him as faithful and good even in the unknown wilderness in which I stand. Not only that, but I also yearned for the Lord to break my heart as one breaks a diamond, for as a diamond must go through the fire to shine bright, my heart must go through the same thing.
Who knew God could use a small sermon to catapult such a season of change. A season where I had to let go of my unbelief, a season where I had to let go of what I wanted in search of what He wanted, and a season where I had to endure discomforting refinement to become the woman who bloomed with grace. Therefore, the sermon “God, Where Are You” by John Bevere will forever be a reminder of my own wilderness season; the time where I echoed the same words as I had to learn how to have faith in the midst of the dungeon as Joseph did.
While I am not in the season of harvest yet, I have FAITh that God knows what He is doing, and even in the midst of disappointments, I shall dance, for God is faithful and He does keep His promises. The woman you see now is not the woman she was a year ago, nor is she the woman she was nine months ago as she cried on her bedroom floor, but who I am now is a woman who has chosen to hide herself in the wilderness in seek of the one who can refine her soul, for in the wilderness, His refining love if found.
And that is the faithful God we serve to turn this heart riddled with disbelief into a heart that hid herself in Him.
(I know I have shared this sermon before back in 2019, but I am sharing it again, for it will forever be one that I will share on REPEAT. John truly gets passionate, to the point, and to the root of the Word; therefore, I promise it will provoke conviction, but not only that, when you go to the Word to read about Joseph and the wilderness, the Lord will speak to you about the very message while yearning to refine you to be who He wants you to be.)