Personally, I don’t know if I can convey this message fully due to being single right now, but I do know the pattern and see the problems arising in Christian women who are giving their hearts away without second thought. Maybe you want to “get that ring,” “get that man,” or “end your singleness due to thinking it is a horrible thing,” but listen and hear me out, for you are on the road paved by society to cause heartache that is going to cause deep-seeded pain that will take a journey to heal.
A journey God doesn’t want you on.
A journey that God warns us about,
A journey that could hinder and pose problems to your future man; the man truly deserving of your heart.
With that being said, your heart does not belong to a boyfriend, and that might sound strange. “How do I love him if my heart is not his,” but this isn’t about love or not love, but this is about your heart; something so easily given away as if it means nothing when it means everything to the Lord. Therefore, your heart is not a boyfriend’s, for it is only your future husband’s. It does not belong to the man you met a year ago, it does not belong to the man you’ve been seeing, and it doesn’t even belong to the man who truly loves you as of now, for it only belongs to one man and one man alone.
“Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
A lot of women only view “waiting for marriage” in terms of the body, but what about the heart? If the Lord did not intend for our bodies to be given away before marriage, then why would our hearts be different? Our hearts are where all issues spring forth and our hearts are what the Lord died for, and yet we give our hearts away more freely due to not thinking of what such a thing does. Your heart is just as your body; to be given only away to the man who will be your future husband, not a man who may or may not marry you.
If you are dating, he might be your boyfriend, but he is just that; your boyfriend. He does not deserve your heart until he becomes your husband, your other half, and your encouragement on the narrow, and yet women give their hearts away to men all the time in hopes of snagging a man, but in the end, the only thing they “snag” is a discontented heart and a broken love life.
That man you are dating right now might be a contender for your heart as he shows you how he can love like Christ, be selfless like Christ, loyal like Christ, steadfast like Christ, enduring like Christ, and so forth, but though He is being intentional in such things, you should only give this man your heart when he makes you his wife.
And it shouldn’t be any other way.
You see, we have normalized giving our hearts away to any person at any time if they have “Christian”” within their bios or so forth, which causes deep seeded issues that go into marriage. Christians are having mini-divorces before marriage even begins, which then batters heart into having issues in marriage. The more you give your heart away only to be broken, the less of a guarded heart is becomes, and then when one gets married, what shall you give the one man worthy of it? A heart that was broken when it could have been guarded.
This isn’t what God wants for your heart and while your future husband will date you, even he has to wait for your heart, for the heart is a precious thing that is vital to our walks with the Lord. When the heart is wounded by giving our hearts away like so, our walk with Christ also become wounded in several ways; ways that can either make growing in the Lord more tender or more difficult depending on the severity of the heart that was given away.
“She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12
I might be single right now, but I have my heart set on my future husband; therefore, I am going to cultivate my heart and tune my eyes towards the Father, and as Proverbs 31 says, a godly wife does her future husband good ALL of the days of her life, not just some.
Right now, my future husband is breathing, living, and doing something; therefore, I will honor him by waiting and protecting my purity as well as my heart.
Right now, he is praying, seeking God, and yearning to be the man He needs Him to be, and I will pray for him even as a single woman.
Right now, he might be in a wilderness season, a season of drought, or a season of harvest; therefore, I will become more of the woman he needs me to be when going through various seasons like so.
When I begin dating one day, which I do not worry about due to there being an appointed time for all things, my heart will still belong only to my future husband, for while a man might be a godly man, it doesn’t mean he instantly will marry you. However, even my future husband himself will have to make me his wife first before I give him my heart, for I will give him my heart when we both stand before the throne in utter surrender while declaring our promise to become one on the narrow path.
Needless to say, my future husband means so much to me, that my heart is too precious to precariously give away; therefore, as I seek the Lord and fall more in love with Him, I will also honor my future husband by protecting not only my purity, but through watching what my heart pertains.
Furthermore, I want to love my future husband even before I ever know him, I want to be able to tell him that I waited in every single facet for him, and I want to be able to tell him that I not only waited for him through physical purity, but also through only giving my heart to him. However, most importantly, I want to do him good all the days of his life, not just in the moments where I was in his life, for he is far too precious in my eyes and the Lord’s eyes to only be loved for a season and not within the others.
My heart was purchased with a price, my heart was ransomed by the Lord, and my heart is where my love for the Lord resides, and only one man has such a tender right to such a beautiful treasure, and that is not just any man, but it is my future husband.
In a world where we view relationships ever so simply, may we truly realize what is at stake; our hearts, our purity, our peace of mind, and so many other things. As a young woman who is single, I don’t want my heart to be battered before I am ever married, but I want to present it guarded for the man who deserves it, which is for him;
My future husband.
He is worthy of a woman who will honor him in singleness, who will honor him in all things, and who will honor him even when she doesn’t even know his name; therefore, I refuse to give my heart or body away to just any man, for it belongs only to him.
Therefore, to the girl who is dating and to the woman who is single, your boyfriend or future man is simply your future man only until he becomes your husband, so if you would not give a man your body before he makes you his wife before the Lord, why would you ever give something so precious like your heart to him before he makes you his wife?
In the end, whether one likes the truth or not, your heart belongs only to your future husband, the man who will lead you and your future family towards Christ and His righteousness, not a boyfriend.