To the woman who is holding onto a man…
Let him go.
He isn’t good for you, nor is he letting you grow in the Lord.
If you have to question it, then it isn’t love. If you have to justify his actions to your family and friends, then it isn’t love. If he constantly leaves you, then it isn’t love. If he is only talk and no action, then it isn’t love, and if he constantly plays you against other women, then he isn’t a real man. When we look at the Word, we see that love is long-lasting and never fails, but if love fails and makes your heart weary, then it was never love to begin with.
A godly man wouldn’t entertain other women if he loved you,
A godly man wouldn’t leave you questioning if he loved you,
A godly man wouldn’t be wishy washy if he loved you,
But a godly man would have a strong mind, would know what he wants, and would not be easily swayed. He would understand the difference between godly women and Christian women, and he would also understand that a woman’s heart is far to precious to be played with. A godly man would be honest in his thoughts and feelings, not “safe.” Therefore, to the woman holding onto the man, left him go, or else you’ll miss the right man due to holding onto the boy.
He isn’t a man, for a real man doesn’t have multiple women in his so called “DMs.” He isn’t a real, godly man if he has a list of women auditioning for his heart, and a real man is in seek of the woman who isn’t in vile for his heart, but who is in seek of the Lord’s. A boy, on the other hand, is the opposite; chasing any woman who will give them the time a day until it becomes stale and boring, and then it’s onto the next woman onto the next.
Your heart is more precious than being played, and yet you think he will change, you think the Lord will get ahold of him, and you think that one day, he will see your worth. However, he won’t. The Lord cannot change him, for he thinks he is doing no wrong, and nothing you do or say will ever be enough to make him see the beauty in your heart, for his definition of beauty is forever flawed. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world with the most godly heart, but he would still rather throw his pearls at the swine due to not being a godly man himself.
No, men are not horrible “monsters,” for real and godly men cherish women, protect women, and treat them like the daughters of the King that they rightfully are. However, any man who makes you question is not a man worthy of your heart, for a godly man would leave no room for doubt. Any man who makes you justify his actions to your family or friends is not a man worthy of your love, for love does not require questioning such as that. Any man who leaves you in seek of a new woman is not worthy of you being his wife, for he’ll do that to you when married.
And yet you keep holding onto a cheap love that has no beauty.
You cling to him thinking he will “change,” but he won’t. They run to the beat of their own drums while singing “Great are you Lord” on Sunday as their DMs tell a different story. Oh, but how you cling to him, but what is it for? A cheap love? A cheap love that will leave you guessing and wondering as to when the ball will drop again?
You hold onto such a man because you think you aren’t worth anything more, which is far from the truth. You are worth more than rubies, and yet he treats you like discounted diamonds at a pawn shop. Oh, my dear, if only you knew what the Lord had in store for you, you wouldn’t be holding on. There is a man who will love you as Christ does, who will selflessly love as He did on the cross, and who will only have eyes for one, not many.
There is a man who will not have to audition women, for it will only be you, not Susan, Becky, Lauren, and so forth. There is a man who will not have a string of DMs of women to entertain him when he can’t sleep, there is a man who will be too captivated by the Lord to care about seeking this woman and that woman, and there is a man who will look at you and want you, for he sees the worthiness of your heart; a heart that Christ died for.
There is a man who will treat you like the woman you are as he seeks the throne for your heart. There is a man who will pray with you, who will protect your purity, and who will care about every facet of your life permanently and not temporarily. You won’t have to worry about him being easily swayed, you won’t have to worry about other women, and you won’t have to worry about his intentions, for he will be straightforward with you due to him caring about you.
A man who is not upfront doesn’t care, and yet you care so much about the man you are holding onto. Why do you shed tears for a man who doesn’t even shed one for you? Why are you allowing your heart to become ever so broken over a man who isn’t even thinking about you? If he truly loved you, he would have told you by now, and yet you have a lie in your mind; a lie that one day, it’ll all change.
While you are holding on, you are going to miss out on a true love story; a true love story that wouldn’t break your heart or make you cry, for the truth is, is that a real, godly man wouldn’t break your heart or make you cry. Sure, there will be problems at times and conflict, but a godly man would not allow such a precious heart to break, for that same heart is a heart that Christ died for.
Dear friend, why are you holding on? Why do you hold onto a fake love when you could have a true love if you just trusted the Lord? You allow yourself to become broken daily, you allow yourself to be overruled by a man who isn’t even caring about you in the long run, and you allow yourself to forget that there is a man who will be your future husband who wouldn’t want this for you. How would he feel; the man who will marry you? Oh, but how would the Lord feel; the man who died for you?
The Lord did not suffer and die for you to become a woman who is played by a man,
The Lord did not suffer and die for you to become a woman who holds onto a man who jumps woman to woman,
The Lord did not suffer and die for you to become a woman who is a second choice to another woman,
The Lord did not suffer and die for you to become a woman who holds onto a cheap love,
And the Lord did not die for things such as this, but He died due to loving you first. Therefore, does the man that you are holding onto love like Christ, is he steadfast like Christ, is he anchored like Christ, is he strong like Christ, is he intentional like Christ, is he selfless like Christ, and is he caring like Christ? If the answer is no, then why are you holding on when you could pray for someone like Him?
So many women hold onto projects when they could be blessed with a man who is already in His presence, and that is what you are finding out. That man isn’t your project, but he is the Lord’s project, for you heart is far too lovely to be battered by a man who isn’t ready for such a heart like yours. Therefore, let go of that man in search of the Father, for in Him, a fullness of joy is found.
When you let go of that man, the Lord will be able to send you a man who is so captivated and content by the presence of God, that he will be able to lead you and a future family. When you let go of that man who isn’t ready for marriage, the Lord can send a man who is willing to be sharpened as iron with you and who will have the desire to become one with you and nothing less.
Dear friend, you are worth more. You are worthy of a love story that has Christ at the center, not tears that make you question. Why would you ever walk down the aisle to a man who made you question and made you have to prove yourself worthy against another woman? Any man who makes you audition and prove your worthiness of “being his wife” is not a man worthy of you, and any man who thought of another woman when he was seeking your heart is not worthy of you in the slightest. A godly man, a true godly man, would know that there is no competition, for your heart is worthy from the beginning, so if a man can leave you for another, he will do it to her, and to the next, and to the next.
To the woman holding onto the man who makes her question, doubt, justify, and wonder where God is, let him go, for it’s time that God writes the beautiful song of love, not you.