Ladies, The Difference Between a Christian Man and a Godly Man

“There is a difference between a godly man and a Christian man” is a line that I have heard for as long as I can remember and while it is overused in some circles, it is most certainly true. I have been debating writing this post for awhile, for though I wrote these words once three years ago, I truly wanted to convey them again at a deeper level, for it’s a subject matter that needs to be explored. Therefore, to my sweet, sweet ladies, this is for you; a word from my heart that I hope brings forth not only a desire for a godly man, but also a deeper love for knowing Him more.


He is a Christian man as he says, no doubt. He goes to church, he knows the Word, and says He loves God. However, while there is nothing wrong with the things described, you don’t want just a Christian man, for that causes no growth to occur with the Lord where two can be fully known and deeply loved in the arms of the Father who loves ever so much. While I am not saying that one should seek perfection, I don’t believe in settling for just a “Christian man” even if they are available; therefore, ladies, the question I have for you is this; is he a Christian man or a godly man? 

Does He say “he loves God” or does He love the Lord more than you?

Does He know what the Word says or does He breathe and live the Word?

Does he go to church or is he being the church that represents Christ?

Does he take most of your attention or does he lead you and your attention closer to the Lord?

Is he only respecting your purity or is he protecting your purity?

Does he say “I am praying for you” or does he say “I am praying with you?”

There is a difference between a Christian man and a godly man, for a godly man would love Christ more than you, would seek Him more than you, and would place him above you. A godly man will do more than the bare minimun than what is required, for a godly man isn’t too consumed with the religion side, but he is more consumed with the relationship side when it comes to Christ. While a man can check off all of the “bare minimum, goes to church, Christian man” type boxes by saying yes to every single question one asks, it is more than that; more than a few yes or no questions.

A godly man won’t just wait until marriage, but he will protect your purity as well.

A godly man won’t just say he loves the Lord, but He constantly be seeking Him more while also leading you and directing you towards Christ as well.

A godly man won’t just recite a few verses, but he live the Word more fully and more deeply because of the One who wrote it.

A godly man won’t just say he’s praying for you, but he will be praying with you as you both walk towards the throne of grace together.

A godly man won’t take your attention, but he will expect that you place more attention on the Savior than him, for he knows he can’t love you like the Lord can.

A godly man will love Him more than you.

A godly man will seek Him more than you. 

A godly man will adore Him more than you. 

A godly man will give Him more attention than you. 

And a godly man will give up everything for Him, for he is captivated by the One in which He soul loves; the One who ransomed the very soul in which you will fall in love with. That is a godly man; a man that is not claiming perfection, but who is seeking a deep, intimate, and passionate relationship that requires more out of him in sakes of knowing Him more.

However, some are so caught up in wanting a man who checks off the bare minimum, but I want so much more than a man who goes to church or who “reads the Bible ever night,” for just because one reads the Bible and knows it word for word, it doesn’t mean that his heart is where it should be. I don’t want a man who goes through monotonous rituals of “waking up, reading the Word, going to church, and repeating,” due to “having to do so,” but I want a man who truly wakes up and adores the Lord who saved his soul.

While there is nothing wrong with a man who wakes up, reads the Word, or goes to church, I don’t want it to stop there, but I want something so much more; deeper than the “must have’s” or “should have’s.” Sure, he can read the word, but does he live it? Sure, he can pray to the Lord in the morning, but does he truly seek the Lord at the throne in full surrender? Sure, he can go to church, but is he being the church as he represents Christ? 

Marriage is a reflection of Christ and Christ alone, for when two marry and become one they are showing the beauty of how He loves us selflessly, fully, and deeply. Marriage is not about us and it is not about selfish gain, but it is about showing how Christ loves, it is about re-directing the attention back to the One who first loved, and it is about glorifying God through such a beautiful and scared union in which the Lord ordained.

A godly man doesn’t love the Lord because “he has to,” a godly man doesn’t go to church because “he has to,” and a godly man doesn’t have a relationship with the Lord because “he has to,” but he does so because he wants to due to being so in love with Him. That is what I want, and that is what you should want; a man who wants the Lord, a man who craves the Lord, and a man who does not do so due “having to,” but who seeks Him yearningly due to wanting to grow in Him.

When the Lord said “It is finished” all was fulfilled, and we could then have a relationship with Him. God doesn’t want us to be robots who follow religious regimes like the Pharisees did, but He wants surrendered hearts who truly love Him, who truly seek Him, and who truly adore Him by having a relationship with Him rather than doing so out of “having too.”

A Christian man, on the other hand, does such things because he has too check off the boxes while making sure he has his I’s dotted and his T’s crossed, but a godly man isn’t  seeking to fulfill religious exceptions of “have too’s,” but he is seeking the heart of the Savior in which He utterly and completely adores; Jesus and only Jesus.

That is who I want.

The man who will not only love God, pray for me, read the Word, respect my purity, and and so forth, but who will also seek God more than me, pray with me, live the Word, and who will protect my purity. In the end, I want my future husband to direct my attention back to Jesus who first loved as He hung on the cross as those below Him mocked Him.

I want my future husband to be like Christ, to love as Christ, and to be selfless like Christ rather than be a man who is set on fulfilling the check list of “have too’s.” I want a man who will be like Jesus and have a servant’s heart of willingness, who will love God more than me, who will have the Word written on his heart, and who will lead me towards the One whom he loves.

Oh, sweet ladies, how could we ever settle for just a Christian man when we know that we could have a man who directs us back to Jesus; the One whom loved ever so deeply as He shed shed His blood for us? How could we ever just settle for a Christian man when there is a godly man who wants Jesus, who wants to fall in love with Him, and who wants Him more than anything rather than just being another “church going guy?”

There is so much more to be uncovered; such beauty in a heart that seeks God above the bare minimum of getting a “get of a hell free card,” for while we shall forever praise the Lord for saving us from the hellfire in which we could have known, don’t settle for a man who just wants a “get of of hell free card,” but pray for a man who surrenders His all for the Lord due Him surrendering His all for him.

That is the difference between a godly man and a Christian man. One only cares about the bare minimum rather than seeking more of Him while the other surrenders his all in full adoration of Jesus due to wanting more of the One who wanted him.

Keep your eyes on Jesus, ladies.

Stop looking for this kind of man, for I can assure you that he won’t be found through constant looking, but he will be found hidden in the presence of God as he seeks Him at the throne of grace where His presence overwhelms us forevermore.

Ladies, keep your eyes directed towards the One who loves ever so relentlessly, and one day as you are ever so captivated and in love with Christ, there will be someone who will be able to show you how to love Him even more. 

“and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.” Mark 10:8-10

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