The Lord has awakened me from my deep sleep to write this post at almost four in the morning, which has happened in the past before, but the Lord has placed this on my heart for someone, and I don’t know who this is for, but my heart is being pulled to write this for the one who is hurting and for the one who is hurting over the pain of someone. for I find myself not able to go back to sleep until I write these words that are being placed upon my heart at such an hour. Therefore, to the person who lays in bed wondering, “Why, Lord,” this is for you and your broken heart. (Does the Lord ever wake you up in the middle of the night like He does me?)
My dear friend who is hurting,
The pain you feel is ever so deep, that taking a deep breath feels like a knife is being punctured into your lungs with each moment that passes by. Maybe it was a heartache of a person you so dearly loved or maybe it was by a friend you have known for many years with such history, but one thing is for certain; the pain you feel is immense. The betrayal and hurt feels like a painful wound in your back as you replay the moment of them walking away as you stand there with tear filled eyes while wondering what went wrong.
My dear friend, Jesus was betrayed by a friend too. In fact, the person who betrayed Him walked with Him, saw Him preform miracles, broke bread with Him, washed his feet, and treated him like a brother, and yet the desire of gold coins is was what made him betray such a precious man such as Jesus. Within the moments of His betrayal, I am quite sure Jesus looked into the eyes of Judas with such sorrow, and I can only imagine the way Jesus felt as He saw the coins in Judas’ hands as the Roman guards pulled Jesus away to be crucified and tortured.
Judas; a man who Jesus loved, was the very one to betray Him. it wasn’t a person who was distant to Jesus, it was not a bystander, nor was it one of the Pharisees who turned Him in, but it was His very own follower; the one who followed Him ever so closely. It was a man who Jesus loved, a man who Jesus probably spoke with many times, and it was a man who watched Jesus smile, laugh, and have such joy, and yet Judas betrayed the living God who was sinless and perfect with a kiss on the cheek.
How I wonder how Jesus felt as the betrayal sunk into His heart as the guards took Him away. How I wonder how Jesus felt as He looked back at Judas into the eyes of the man who betrayed Him, and how I wonder about the thoughts that went through His mind that very moment as the guards treated Him ever so coldly. Though Jesus was God and knew of the betrayal, I do believe that in that raw moment, the pain was so immense, that breathing felt nearly impossible, and yet though impossible to breathe, He still loved Judas ever so deeply.
Oh, how Jesus loved Judas, how Jesus must have wept at the sight of seeing Judas walk away without a second thought, and how Jesus must have wanted to yell out to Judas saying, “I still love you.” Within those moments of pure pain, Jesus must have had many thoughts going through His head as He knew that the time had come to bring salvation to the world as He sat in the prison cell awaiting of what was to come.
I often find myself thinking of certain moments of the life of Jesus, and this one of them; the moment of His betrayal by one of His own friends who saw His miracles, His goodness, and His love right before their very own eyes,and yet though Judas saw what we can not see, his heart as still swayed into the desires of something else, which tempted him to turn on the very one who would die for his soul.
Did Judas not realize that the very man he betrayed was the same man who was going to die for him so that he could live?
Did Judas not realize tat the man who he had betrayed was God himself in human form?
Did Judas not realize that he betrayal everlasting love foe a temporary love that would only bring him temporary comfort?
Oh, did he not know? Did he not realize the mistake he made, or was he so clouded in what he wanted and what he desired that he did not simply care? Was Judas so captivated by the gold and the luscious things that he truly believed that betraying such a precious man as Jesus was worth it? Was the betrayal of Jesus worth seeing the pain in His eyes as they took Him away to be mocked, beaten, and tortured for doing nothing wrong?
The most heart wrenching part of the Gospel is His betrayal of someone He so dearly loved, and though we do not know of the intricate moments of the night He sat in the prison cell after the kiss on the check, I am quite sure Jesus sat there weeping over Judas as Judas walked away into darkness with coins in his hands. How I am quite sure Jesus yearned for Judas to turn back, to throw the coins down, and to follow Him, yet Judas made His choice, and the betrayal of the everlasting love he could ever have is what He chose in that moment.
So my dear friend, Jesus understands the wounds of being betrayed by a person one loves or cares about, for the very one whom He loved betrayed Him in such a callous way with a kiss on the cheek and with gold coins in hand. Every time I think of the rejection of Jesus, my heart aches, for Jesus was worth so much more than gold coins and He was worth so much more than a deceitful kiss, yet He was thrown away and discard as if He was nothing, and yet He was everything, for He is God, He was the Savior, and He was the redeemer that died to defeat the grave so that we could live.
“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.” Psalm 30:11-12
Therefore, my dear friend, Jesus understands the pain of being hurt by others, so allow Jesus to love you in those moments as you cry in the night weeping over those who hurt you. Most importantly, allow Him to breathe love and grace into those broken pieces as He replaced the song of sorrow with song of joy, for through His rejection and betrayal, we have a new song that we can sing that doesn’t have to end with a cold kiss to the cheek.
Jesus had to be betrayed so that we would always have a Friend.
Jesus had to be turned on so that we could always have a Defender on our side,
Jesus had to be mocked so that we could have a Protector,
And Jesus had to suffer and pick up His cross so that we could have help with our as we journey to His throne.
The betrayal of Jesus happened so that we could have an everlasting friend who would be there when others betrayed us, hurt us, or did what Judas has done, for Jesus understands that pain. Oh, how Jesus understands what it is like to be betrayed and then thrown away, and Jesus understand what it feels like to have someone walk with them and then throw it away for something so temporary; therefore, find grace in Jesus; throne who understands the rejection of the world, but also the rejection of a friend.
Allow Jesus to mend your broken heart, my dear friend, and allow Him to heal you, for He is outstretching His arm to you so that He can give you refuge. Jesus hears the tears you cry as you wonder how you could be so hurt, Jesus understands the sleepless nights you have as you wonder how a person could walk away, and Jesus understands every single pain you experience, for it happened to Him as He was crucified and suffered so that we could live.
Oh, the betrayal of Jesus; utterly heartbreaking, yet needed for the grace of Jesus to be shed upon us, so my dear friend, if you ever feel as if you are alone in rejection, brokenness, or hurt, rest easy in knowing that there is a man who was rejected just as you, and that man is Jesus; both God and man and perfect and Holy.
“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”” Hebrews 13:5
To the person who is hurting due to betrayal or pain, Jesus understands that very pain the night He was taken away by guards to be rejected, beaten, mocked, and killed; therefore, find a friend in Him, lay your brokenness at His feet, and allow Him to be the rock in which you stand, for unlike Judas, He will never leave you or forsake you, for He knew firsthand was it was like to be left.
So go to sleep, my dear friend, and rest easy in knowing that He is with you, He is comforting you, and He is placing the broken pieces in which you feel back together, for He loves you so much, that He was betrayed and sacrificed so that you could find such joy in Him. Therefore, lay your burdens down at His feet, for you are fully known and fully loved by the one who experienced the betrayal of whom He loved yet died so that we could be loved endlessly.
With gentleness and love, sleep well in grace, my dear friend, for He will forever love you and never leave you.