I want my future husband to love Christ more than he will love me.
I want my future husband to not make me first in his life, for Christ should come first.
I want my future husband to choose Jesus before ever choosing me as his wife, for in the end, Jesus is the only one who can truly satisfy,
Now, do I want to get married? Yes, I want to marry a man who will tell me, “I love you Christina, but I love Christ more than you, and if I had to choose between having a wife and Jesus, I’d choose Jesus.” I want a man who would truly tell me that, for I did not die for my future husband, I did not die for his sins, and I cannot change or save a man, and so I want a man who will love Christ more than me, and I want a man who would lovingly look at me and still say, “If I had to choose between you and Christ, I’d have to choose Jesus.”
That, in my eyes, is true love; a man telling me that he’d still choose Jesus over me is an act of Christ-like love, and while many women would get offended over a man “choosing” someone over her, I want a man to choose Jesus over me, for I cannot offer what Jesus can, I cannot offer him the same peace as Jesus can, and while I can encourage a man in Christ as his wife, I cannot be what Christ can be to him.
I don’t want a man to place me as first, for if a man places me as first in his life, then he has his loves wrong. I want to be second, I want to be below the Lord, and I want a man who will honestly and lovingly tell me that Christ is His every breath rather than me. Many woman want men to make them their entire world, but I don’t want a man to do that.
I don’t want a man to make me his “entire world,” for I cannot save him. Instead, I want a man to make me a part of his world while making Christ His entire foundation, for I refuse to allow a man to place me before Christ, for Christ can give him a love that expounds deeper than my love can.
I want a man who will tell me, “I would still love Christ even if I did not marry you,” I want a man who will tell me, “You may be the wife that I love, but Christ is my deepest love,” and I want a man who lovingly shows me that Christ is sufficient, that grace is enough, an that Christ is all I need.
In the end, if my future husband was hypothetically made to choose between having me as his wife or having Jesus, Id’ want him to choose Jesus before ever choosing me, for Jesus is worth it; He is so very worth it. He is worth picking up our cross, He is worth denying it all, and He is worthy of our love.
Mt future husband is going to find me worthy of being his wife. My future husband can choose any woman he wants. He can can choose a doctor, a lawyer, or a woman who is current, who is popular in circles, and who doesn’t miss a beat. My future husband can choose a woman who is the most beautiful, the most charming, and the most spectacular, but my future husband is going to say, “I want her,” and I don’t know exactly what it will be about me that will make a man want me as his wife, but in the end, I still want a man to love Jesus more than he will ever love me, for I am only his wife until death, but Jesus is His true love for eternity.
I want him to look at me and think, “I want her as my wife, but I’d still choose Jesus over her if I had too,” and I want a man who will love me like Christ rather than loving me above Christ, for in the end, marriage is a reflection of Christ, not us. Marriage is the way the Lord feels about us; His bride. We are His bride, and the blood that was shed for us is how He feels for us. Song of Solomon is a love letter written to us by God, and it is the most passionate love letter one can read, and yet that’s how He feels about it.
“The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.” Psalm, 18:2
The Lord is in love with us, He is jealous for us, and when we place something above Him, it will become an unstable foundation, for He is the only rock that is steadfast; therefore, I want my future marriage to be rooted in Christ, and I want a marriage that reflects the Lord’s love for us as flawed and broken humans that find ultimate worth and satisfaction in the Lord.
Am I saying that I want my future husband to “not love me?” No. I know my future husband will love me as his wife, but I don’t want him to ever place me above the one who died for Him, I don’t ever want him to place me, a flawed and broken woman, above the Lord who is perfect and holy, and I would never ask a man to make me his entire world when I wasn’t the one who created it.
In the end, I don’t want my future husband to marry me due to this “this”or that,” but I want that man to marry me due to me being able to show him everyday why Christ is worth it, and I want him to marry me for he sees me being a wife who can encourage him on the narrow.
Marriage is not intended for us to show it off on social media,
Marriage is not intended for us to brag about not being single anymore.
Marriage is not intended for us to find eternal security in a spouse, for marriage is not eternal.
And marriage was not mean to forget Christ, but it is meant to glorify and reflect Him in a new way.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:6
My deepest desire for marriage is to ensure that a man doesn’t have to walk alone on the narrow path, for the narrow path can be quite lonely at times. Many people don’t focus on the narrow as much anymore, but this path can be lonely, but that does not mean that singleness is a curse, nor does it mean Christ is not with us, but I want to be a woman who breathes kindness and wisdom into a man’s life, who is an encouragement, and who is willing to get into the suffering and into the fire and fight for him, not against him.
That is one of my biggest motivators for marriage; to reflect Christ and to reflect going into the darkest; therefore, while I want a man to love me, I don’t want a man to view me as “his everything,” for only Christ can truly be his everything. Though I will be very honored to be a man’s wife, and though I will love a man like Christ in every single way that I can, I want a man who will honestly tell me, “Christina, if I was made to choose to either marry you or seek Jesus, I’d choose Jesus.”
That’s the marriage I want; a marriage where a man honestly tells me that Christ is more, that Christ sufficient, and though that man will love me, he will never love me more than the one who redeemed his soul, for Christ died for that man, Christ loved that man before me as He formed him in his mother’s womb, and Christ loved that man so much that He suffered for him, so why would I ever expect a man to place me above Christ?
I would be a very selfish woman to expect a man to make me his entire world, I would be a selfish woman to expect a man to place me above Christ in his life, I would be a selfish woman to expect all of his attention, I would be such a selfish woman to demand a man to view me as worth more than Christ, and selfishness destroys marriages, and so I want a man who is selflessly in love with the Lord and who would selflessly love me through the Lord as I selflessly love him in return.
Give me the man who will love me like Jesus,
Give the me the man who will not place me above Jesus,
Give the man who will love me enough to tell me that Christ is his one true love even though he loves me as his wife,
Give me the man who will love me enough to tell me that Christ is sufficient for him,
And give me the man who would choose Jesus before ever choosing me to be his wife, for in the end, I stop being my future husband’s wife the moment one of us dies, but Jesus does not stop being His true love, for Jesus is eternal, and I want him to find true worth in the one who will never leave or forsake Him, for in Him, all joy is found.
I love my future husband; I have loved that man in writing and in prayer for a long time, but if my future husband was ever hypothetically faced with two paths where he could either marry me or follow the path to Jesus, I would tell my future husband to choose Jesus over me, for Jesus is worth more than I ever could be.
Jesus is worth more than me, for Jesus died for that man’s soul,
Jesus is worth more than me, for Jesus has seen all of the tears that man has cried in moments where he was weak and tried,
Jesus is worth more than me, for Jesus knew every thought and sleepless night he has had,
Jesus is worth more than me, for when He hung on a cross as people watched Him, He so loved my future husband even though he was unworthy of His suffering.
So why would I be selfish in asking a man to choose me over the perfect, flawless, and passionate son of God who stepped down from His throne to die for him? Why would I be selfish to expect a man to place me above the infinite love in Christ?
Am I saying that I don’t want him to marry me? No, I want my future husband to marry me, I want him to desire me as a wife, and I desire to marry my future husband as well, but when he marries me, I want him to remind me that his truest love; the one that his heart deeply belongs too isn’t me, but it’s Jesus.
The Lord is going to allow me a piece of my future husband’s heart, but my future husband’s heart will not truly belong to me in the long run, for his heart will be captivated by the Lord, it will belong to the one His soul seeks, and it will belong to the one who doesn’t know him by shame, but who knows him by name, and I respect that; therefore, I don’t want a man to place me as first, for I want him to continue to place Jesus above all.
While women continue to want men to place them as first in their lives, I want a man who will place me as second, for Jesus comes before me, for Jesus will love him far more than I ever could after we are both dead, for our marriage is only earthly, but the Lord’s love is eternal, so I want a man who would choose Jesus before he would ever choose me to be his wife, for when he chooses Jesus, he is choosing to find complete joy, peace, and mercy in His love, and when we both do that, then we can have a marriage that reflects Christ, for our hearts will both be seeking Him in the same rhythm.
So give me the man who would lovingly look at me and say, “Though I love you, if I had to choose between you as my wife and Jesus, I would choose Jesus each time, for He’s worth it all and more.”