I wrote this post three different times, and for some reason, this post isn’t easy for me to write, for it isn’t going to be an easy post, and it is very counter-cultural, but for the past two weeks, I have been musing over this post, and I am finally writing it.
On the other hand, I was going to post a post about suffering and the wilderness, which is something that I went through a week ago or so, but the Lord brought this back to my mind, and I ended up opening up this draft that has been sitting here since December 18th with only the words “is femininity dead”
However, I am now adding more words.
Is femininity dead?
Honestly, look around. When was the last time you truly saw a feminine woman other than at an evening out, a wedding, or for some “occasion.” When did you see a woman be feminine even if she had no reason to be, and when was the last time you saw a woman love being feminine to the point where she couldn’t imagine her life without it?
“Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10
When was the last time you saw a woman like that? When was the last time you saw a woman who was radiant and beautifully confident, not in an egoistic way, but in a “daughter of the king way” when it came to being feminine everyday even if society wasn’t like her?” My guess is that you haven’t seen this type of woman in a long time, and I haven’t either. Normally, women only see “femininity” as something to be done once in a full moon on occasion, and that is not true femininity.
And Millennial women, in particular, are more likely to choose not to be feminine for a plethora of reasons, and many of them have negative thoughts of femininity, and in their eyes, femininity is already dead.
Now, I know that I am a Millennial due statistically falling in the era of when I was born, and I won’t lie, I love house plants, record players, and simple living, but I am a very feminine woman, I love the 50’s, I love Audrey Hepburn, and though I am a Conservative, the fashion and elegance of Jackie Kennedy inspires me; therefore, I am not on board with many of the “fashion” trends or mannerisms of Millennial women.
And this is where the post becomes counter-cultural.
Women are not meant to be masculine in the eyes of the Lord, and yet women are becoming masculine, and it has infiltrated even Christian women due to “popular, Christian culture,” which I have seen increase for the past 3 years now.
Though Feminism is largely to blame for femininity dying, there is also another thing that is killing it; clones due to insecurities. Before going any further, an example of a clone would be if some “popular” worship leader began to dress differently, then almost half of the worship leaders in churches would mimic their style, and this is what happens a lot in the world. If someone is doing this, then another person follows.
This is how women work as well, and Christian women are not immune to it, and Feminism is to blame for a big part of the reason that femininity is dying, but I also think our lack of identity is also to blame for the death of femininity, for if women truly found their identity in Christ, femininity wouldn’t be dying, for they would be embracing femininity..
Every woman is now the same, for every woman wears the same shades, every woman has the same dictation and speech, every woman has the same “vibe” or whatever term you would use, every woman has the same accessories, every woman has the same clothes, every woman has the same desire to be masculine and to prove to men that they are the same, and it is everywhere now.
“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Genesis 1:27
In the end, due to both Feminism saying that femininity “is evil” and women wanting to be like other women so they aren’t left out or “not validated,” femininity is no longer present. In sake to prove men wrong or to be validated by other women, women have sacrificed femininity, so they can be accepted. Besides, most women believe that femininity is “too hard or stressful,” so to them, it does not seem as if they are losing anything, but in the eyes of the Lord, they are rejecting the very design they were made in.
All or the sake of human validation or to “prove a point.”
And before I continue, masculinity is not toxic nor is it wrong if you are a man. If you are a man, masculinity is okay, but for a woman to choose to want to be masculine over feminine, then that’s a problem, for it becomes a sad day when women consider being masculine “okay,” but then consider being feminine as “too much.”
In the end, femininity is dying, and it isn’t getting any better. With social media, Feminism, and insecurities, femininity isn’t coming back anytime soon, and quite honestly, I would not be surprised if it isn’t extinct in the next 20 years. In 20 years, I predict that both men and women will be wearing the same clothes, accessories, and will be almost hard to tell apart, for in this time of age, men and women are considered the same, and they aren’t.
We are now a society of women who want to be like men. Whether you want to be masculine due to Feminism or whether it’s due to finding identity in something else, women are slowly switching to masculinity and are trying to coin the market on men, and as they try to shift, they claim that femininity is “too much,” but if the Lord thought that femininity would be too much, He would have never created it.
We live in a world where women are denouncing femininity, making fun of women who are feminine, and we are going through great lengths to find identity in something other than what the Lord has made us in. From “this style” to that “style” or whatever “this woman is doing,” women have resorted to everything rather than embracing beautiful femininity, and this is where the problem lies.
However, people believe that men and women are the exact same, and this is not true, but does this mean that one is better than the other? No, for men are not better than women, and women are also not better than men, so why are women in a constant battle to prove to men that they can be them or that they can be better?
And it’s due to one thing: insecurity and lack of identity in Christ.
“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;” 1 Peter 2:9
At some point, we have to come to the harsh reality of what insecurities are, and insecurities can do a lot of damage, and they can confuse is, cause chaos, and create loudness that did not have to be there.
Though insecurities are normal in human nature, if they are left to grow, they can be destructive, and if we do not find our identity in Christ, then we will always have an identity crisis. Today, women want to be masculine, but tomorrow they might want to be “this” or “that,’ and it’s due to lack of worth in Christ.
Women are not meant to be masculine, for femininity is beautiful, and yet women have chosen to find validation in the world rather than with the Lord. Women have also fallen victim to the lie of Feminism, and Christian women, as well, have decided to want to blend in. “If this person isn’t doing this, then I can’t” is a common thought process of a woman, which leads to many other thoughts as well.
Women have traded their feminine spirits for spirits of loudness, attention, and masculinity, but if women truly found their worth in the one who died for them, they would never give up something so precious as femininity, for femininity was made in the very image of the one who died on a cross for them.
If women were so in love with Christ, they would not want to be like men, but they would want to be the counterpart, the feminine, the gentle-spirited, and the meek.
If women were so in love with the Lord that they saw their worth in Him, they would not be a clone, but they would be a daughter of a King who is not moved by the world, and this is where we find out the root of the problem. The root is lack of identity in the one who created us and died for us.
When you find true identity in Christ, you do not want to compete with men, you don’t want to be like men, and you will not steal their identity, but you will encourage them, uplift them, and pray for them while being a woman made in the radiant image of Christ, and that image includes femininity.
“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4
Instead of looking for identity in other things, be a daughter of the King who is in a relentless purist of Christ, and when you find true worth in the Lord, you will feel no need to be like a man, you will find no need to be like other women who are the same, and will not feel the need to be anything less than what the Lord has created you in, and women were created to be feminine women who are worth more than rubies, and this should not be offensive, for it is anything but offensive, for femininity is beautiful, soft, and tender
Masculinity is not for women, and yet due to Feminism and lack of identity in Christ, we want to be what we aren’t, for we aren’t content with what the Lord has give us. We need to humble ourselves, we need to find identity in Christ again, and we need to stop being an world of clones, but we need to be genuine, authentic, and in love with Christ, for femininity is dying.
Until women begin to realize that femininity is not tough, femininity is not oppressive, and that femininity is beautiful due to the Lord creating it, there will be no change, for femininity is not evil, but it beautiful, and until we truly realize the beauty in a gentle and meek spirit, we will never truly love or appreciate femininity.
However, how long will it take for women to realize the beauty of femininity in the eyes of the Lord before it is completely dead in our society, and how long must we wait until femininity is back and embraced?
In the end, is femininity isn’t dead yet, but it is very alarming at how it is dying in women, for sadly, no woman seems to be bothered that it is gone, no woman seems to be bothered that part of the Lord’s image is being wiped away, and our society seems to be happy about this “extinction;” therefore, it is time we wake up, find true identity in Christ, and it is time women begin being the feminine, radiant, and beautiful women that the Lord created women to be, for femininity, whether you agree or not, will forever be the second most beautiful thing about a woman other than Jesus, and once you take femininity away, what makes a woman a woman is gone, and she is no longer unique.
So let’s wake up before femininity is dead and before we become a world full of clones that have no real identity in the one who shed His blood for us.