Normally, you wouldn’t ask a single Christian woman her thoughts on it, but today, I am explaining it, for it has been on my mind quite often due to hearing several conversations that have marriage wrong, for these conversations are engrossed with the ideologies of “Hookup Culture,” and as we all know, Hookup Culture only destroys the beauty of intimacy, and it also does not reflect the goodness and grace in Jesus and His glory.
Now, I am waiting for my future husband, and I will not budge on that. A lot of people think that virginity is such a horrible thing, but I am happy that I will be able to give that to my future husband, and I hope to marry a man who can do the same with me, for I think that waiting for marriage is a beautiful thing that is taken for granted in our current day society
However, what about intimacy?
“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” 1 Corinthians 7:4
Intimacy is a beautiful gift that God made, and it is the ability for a man and a woman to give themselves away in the confines of a beautiful union as they surrender themselves for the greater good of becoming one so that Christ can be ultimately glorified; therefore, that is truly beautiful, but that isn’t all to intimacy, and due to the time we live in, we can become stuck on just one level rather than going to the soul part, for while sex is beautiful in the eyes of God, it isn’t the only root of intimacy, for while it is precious in intimacy, there is so much more that people don’t see, for intimacy is no longer intimacy is selfless love that is rooted in Christ is not present.
I believe that intimacy goes deeper than what many are accustomed too, for in my future marriage, I want a deeply rooted intimacy that prays for each other even if we are unaware of each other’s prayers, and I want a deeply rooted intimacy that does not stop at the surface level, but that goes deeper than that, for I want a love where we are both going into the Word of God passionately, where we are both pouring out our souls in prayer, where we are going before God together, and where we are both humbled in front of His righteousness together, for at the end of the day, two souls that become one and are chasing the Lord is a form of intimacy that is deeply rooted.
Personally, I want a man who will pray for me when I am in affliction, who hear my deepest fears, my current struggles, and my current downfalls, and whose love for me goes deeper than what he can get, and I want a love that involves praying for my walk with Christ and how I can be a better woman in the Lord; that is what I pray for.
In my eyes, a deeply rooted intimacy is a where my future husband and I will go into selfless prayer for each other at the feet of the Lord while pouring out our concerns, while praying for each others walks in Christ, and while praying about the things that are bothering us, for that kind of love is a selfless love that placed the throne of Christ as higher than us.
Yes, begin able to become one with your spouse is beautiful, it is selfless, and it shows a form of love that God wants for us, but I also want the love to go deeper, to go past the surface, and to go into uncharted areas where we are stronger in Christ as we reach the other side, for at the end of the day, I do not want a man to marry me just for sex, but I want him to marry me for he wants me as a wife who will breathe Jesus into his life, and who will walk with him closer to Christ so he doesn’t have to do it alone anymore, for this narrow path is filled with desolation, but it is Christ who makes the path worth it.
I want to love my future husband deeper than the surface, but I want to love his soul, his heart, and I want to pray for the afflictions, for the Father’s love is affectionate towards us as we feel as if we are crippled by pain and despair. I want to also show intimacy to my future husband by going humbly before the Lord to pray for whatever he is dealing with, whatever is bothering him, or whatever is not working out in his eyes.
“She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27
I also want to show my future husband intimacy by being an open ear that will not shut down during rocky moments or due to tough storms, but I want to show also intimacy by listening, by encouraging, by walking beside him and not against him, and I also want to show my future husband intimacy by asking the Lord to protect him to be with him always, and to show him the love of Christ in all that I can be as wife, and even if he is unaware, I will go before the throne in constant prayer, for I want a love that is rooted in the one who loved first.
And then when I am showing the love of Christ in all things to my future husband, that is what makes the surface level of intimacy sweet, for it is two people selflessly loving each other as Christ did, and it is reaffirming that two are one and that they are walking this path together, not alone.
I might be a single woman who writes such things, but I want my entire future marriage to have Christ as the foundation, to have Christ as our goal, and to both be passionate about the Lord and each other’s walks with Him as we journey through life together. I want a deeply rooted love in the Savior and His compassion towards us, and I want a marriage where we both put Him before us, for it is He who is worthy.
In the end, I want the praying man who would pray for me, who would go to the Lord in secret for me even if I am not aware, who would be a listening ear, and who would go into the Word with me daily while showing me the love of the Lord in all things while also encouraging me to stay the course on this path.
The deepest form of love is when someone is praying for you and you don’t even know it, and that love is a love that is patient, selfless, and Christ-like, and that is the love I do pray for. A man going to the Lord about me before himself, a man who would take my hand when I am weak and not leave me where I am, a man who will encourage me in Christ in my afflictions even if the afflictions are difficult, and a man who will be there through all seasons of both good and bad; that is a love that I believe is so worth having.
From day one of a future marriage, I want Christ to be the very foundation, the very basis of where our love comes from, and I want a marriage where we read the Word, we where chase Christ, and where we are proactively caring about about Christ who lives within us, for it is He that is important and worthy of our love.
I want to go to the soul, to the depths where the gentle whispers of the heart are found, and I want a marriage where we are pouring out hardships out to each other, where we are honest in our walks with the Lord, and where we are humble, honest, an vulnerable.
“For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5
I want that to go deeper, to go further into the waters where many do not go, and I want to love my future husband even if it’s hard, and even if loving him is the last thing many would choose, for if God will not leave him where he is, then I will not leave him either; therefore, a deeply rooted intimacy, in my eyes, is looking at your future husband and still choosing to love him even if his are unworthy and even if his are deeply afflicted, for the Lord’s love and grace is greater than our pain, and I want to extend the same grace to my future husband by picking up him up to the Lord rather than walking away, for though pain comes in the night, joy comes in the morning.
As we are both walking in the preciousness of Jesus, then that is what makes the surface level of intimacy sweeter, for it is not what we can get, it is not what one can achieve, but it is about showing that we are selflessly loving for God’s glory as He first loved us, and it also reaffirms all that the Lord has done for us, for the Lord gave Himself away so that we could live, and that is what marriage is about; giving ourselves always so that Christ can be reflected.
Intimacy, in my eyes, is also about a husband and a wife being open, honest, and going to the soul of each other as one who chases truth and tenderness. It is a husband and wife who are both being selfless and thinking of the other rather than themselves, and it is the husband and the wife giving their all to their spouse so that they can see the love of Christ in all things, for though marriage is precious and beautiful, it is for the glory of God, and I want my future marriage to reflect the glory of the Lord, for it is He who is glorified, not I.
While Hookup Culture only focuses on the surface, I want to also love my future husband for his heart and soul, for his walk with the Lord, and I want to nurture, cherish, and value his heart soul, for in his heart and soul is where the Lord resides, and so I will take precious care of something that seeks the Lord rather than letting it break, for when we are married to our spouses, true intimacy is nurturing their soul, it is breathing Jesus into their soul, and it is allowing them to confide in you about the problems, about the pain, and about the hardships. Most importantly, it is loving them even when they cannot love themselves, and it is showing them the grace of Jesus in the bleakest, messiest, and darkest moments.
Intimacy is not only loving your future husband during the good, but it is also seeing his beauty in the darkness, in the tears, in the pain, and in the moments where loving him isn’t easy, for even in those moments, he is your future husband, and he is the same man who got down on one knee for you asking you to join him on his walk, and in those moments of pain and affliction, he needs a woman who goes into the fire after him chasing him and loving him like Christ in the process.
In the end, loving your future husband through the bad times is a deeply rooted intimacy, and it is a love that stands the test of time, for if you can still love the fragile and broken man in front of you, then that is showing a deeply rooted intimacy that reflects the love of Christ, and that is the intimacy I want in a future marriage, that is the intimacy I want when walking down the aisle, and that is what I want when marrying the man who will find me worthy of getting down on one knee for.
“And the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.” Mark 10:8
And then when you are loving the soul of your future husband, then that is what makes becoming one ever so sweet, for it is two people who have pledged to walk the brazen, treacherous, and narrow path as one, and becoming one is not about what one can get, but it shows that dedication of the nurturing of both souls so that Christ can glorified, so that Christ can be shown, and so that both will choose to uplift one another, and once we can love them for their souls, it makes the surface and everything else beautiful, for it isn’t about selfishness, it’s about selfless love that surrenders themselves to each other as Christ surrendered upon the cross.
And that, in my eyes, is the deeply rooted intimacy that I pray that my future marriage pertains.