I’m a little late with this post, for this is a really personal thing I am sharing, for the only person who knows about this is my mom, but the Lord has been laying it on my heart a lot lately, and so I sat down and wrote it, and I am somewhat hesitant to post for some reason, but here goes nothing, and if I believe in vulnerability and being open, so this is just another one of those posts. (Also I didn’t know what to title this and it took awhile.)
Since February, I have tired to write this post, and I have finally found my words, for this means too much for me to mess up. To begin, I am unsure of whether you are aware of the viral trend that was swept the nation back in 2017, but it was a viral post where a woman had purchased her future husband’s wedding tie, but I did not see it until February, and when I saw it, I was very happy, for I was glad that someone else had seen the beauty in such gesture as buying your future husband his wedding tie. (And I hope many other women reading this see the beauty as well.)
If I had to be honest, I never though I would write this post. When I first bought my future husband’s wedding tie, I told myself, “I am not going to tell him until right before our wedding with my final “Dear Future Husband letter ” before he becomes my official husband,” and I was very firm in this for a long time. For a long time, no one knew about the tie that laid on my nightstand, but I don’t feel the need to keep it “so silent” anymore, and the Lord has been laying that tie on my heart a lot lately.
Yes, I have had my future husband’s wedding tie for awhile now, and I decided to buy it one day due to someone telling me that it will make the wait easier, and I also read in a book when I was younger about it, and the more I read, the more I wanted to do this, and so I did.
However, it’s not about the tie. Any woman can buy a tie, write “to my future husband’ and then leave it, so the tie means nothing if you have no love or selflessness behind it, for the meaning is so much more.
Every morning, and night, I see this tie on my nightstand. I have this tie nicely laid out where it will not get dirty, yet it is in plain sight for me to see each and every morning I wake up and each night I go to sleep, and when I see it, it makes me realize that there will be a man who will marry me, be the father of our children, and who will walk with me towards Christ.
This tie will be the tie on my future husband; a reality that will happen one day. We don’t know when this will happen, but what is known is that this tie will be the tie on my future husband that I will see as I am walking down the aisle pledging my love for him as a wife.
As I look at this tie each time I see it, I pray for the Lord to guide Him, to protect Him, and to pour out His mercy upon him, for I do know that the man I will marry is walking the narrow just as I am; alone and navigating life. I am not the only one with struggles and battles, and my future husband is not perfect, but he is a man who fails the Lord daily, and so I know my future husband will fail me too, so I also pray for the Lord to tender my heart to forgiveness and grace so that I may reflect the love of Christ in our future marriage.
Each morning and night as I see this tie, I pray that the Lord shows my future husband, the man who will wear that tie, that he is loved by an Almighty God who has made ways in his life; ways in which the Lord provided comfort, grace, and love, and when I see this tie every morning, it reminds me of the man I am waiting for, it reminds me of the man who will one day go from being “future husband, to being “husband,’ and it reminds me of the man who will walk hand in hand with me in Christ.
Right now, we walk in Christ alone, and so as I look as I look at this tie, his tie, it reminds me that though we walk alone now, we will one day walk with each other, and as we walk alone, I daily pray for the Lord to carry him if he is weak and cannot take another step, but I also pray that the Lord prepares both him and I for the new season of marriage as we continue to walk through the wilderness of the current season.
This tie is about God and him, and so the meaning is more than “just a tie,” for it is me showing this man that his wife prayed for him even when she didn’t know him, even when she questioned if he was real, and even in the darkest moments. Through it all, I still prayed, loved, and sought to the Lord over his heart, soul, and walk with Christ.
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
For many years, I have prayed for my future husband in written word through letters, in spoken word of many prayers, and throughout many posts on my blog. I believe in passionately praying for my future husband, because his life does not just “simply begin” with me, but it has been happening even before me, and with knowing that his life has begun way before me, I know that he is a man who will fail, who will battle things, and who will be weak due to being human, and so that in mind, I pray for him passionately, for I don’t just pray for our future, but I pray for his present even in singleness.
However, it is not just him being my husband, but it’s also about me being his wife, and I want to ensure that as his future wife, I am going to the throne of Christ passionately praying for him, his dreams, his struggles, and his fears, because as a wife, I want to love like Christ, not out of selfishness.
When I look at that tie, it reminds me that I am going to be the wife to a man one day; the wife to the man who will one day wear that tie; the tie where I have prayed many prayers once seeing it every morning and every night, and with that, I pray that the Lord shapes me into being the wife he needs and being the wife he is praying for.
As I look at the tie, I am reminded that the man who will one day wear it is the man I will become a wife too, and that man is worthy of a woman who would lay herself down while humbling herself before the throne to not only be who the Lord needs her to be, but who will also be the wife he needs me to be.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
As I see this tie, I ask the Lord to soften my heart, to prepare me to walk down the aisle unto him, and I ask the Lord to allow me to love him as He does, because this man is not perfect, but he is redeemed, and I want to love like Christ, and each time I see this tie, I am reminded that the man who will wear it is not Prince Charming, but he is a man that is saved by grace just as I, and so I ask for a humble and meek heart as I continue to walk this wilderness season into the next season, for if my future husband is to come the throne of grace as he is, then I want my future husband to marry me as he is.
And as I look at that tie each morning as I get read for my day to when I get read for bed at night, it reminds me that one day, someday, my future husband will be the recipient of all of those prayers, of all of the letters I have written, and I will finally be able to see the man who is the wearer of the tie; the man behind “dear future husband,” and the man that I have passionately prayed for since I was a young 15 year old girl.
“The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.” Lamentations 3:25
That tie reminds me that though singleness can be quite desolate and alone, there will be a man who will enter that new season with me along with Christ, and one day, this tie will go from being on my nightstand to being on my future husband, and the moment I walk down the aisle and see my future husband wearing the tie that has many prayers behind it around is around his neck, will be something I will cherish for all of my life.
Sure, not many will understand the purpose in buying a random tie, but it’s not about the tie; it’s about the man who will be my husband and realizing that he is worth praying for, he is worth waiting for, and he is worthy of a praying woman who goes before the throne about him, his battles, and his fears even before she ever knew who he was.
That’s what this is about; it’s about loving that man as Christ does regardless of the current season of life, for marriage comes with many seasons where we must choose to love our spouses, and so I want to do that now even in the unknown.
And one day when I walk down the aisle to my future husband, he will be wearing the tie that has many prayers behind it, and I will be able to not only walk down to him, but I will remember the prayers that I have selflessly prayed for the man before me, and it will no longer be “Lord protect my future husband” but it will then be, “Lord, protect my husband.’
And this is the deeper meaning of the tie. It is me telling my future husband that I didn’t just begin thinking of him as my husband when he walked into my life, but I was already thinking of him, praying for him, and praying to become the wife he deserves way before I was ever ready to walk down that aisle.
And that is not just a random tie he will wear, but that’s a tie that has many prayers of a future wife who prayed even in the moments where all seemed bleak, because I didn’t want to just love my future husband in the future when he became my “present,” but I wanted to love as Christ did even before it all began.