As I write this post, I look at my right hand and see a dainty ring that is around my finger; however, I used to wear my ring on my left, but people began to think I was engaged, so I switched it, but this small, dainty ring on my finger is my purity ring, and I am quite sure many thoughts are going through your mind as you read the words “purity ring.”
Some people make fun of me, and I understand. Here comes little Miss. Virgin with a purity ring, which may be known as overused symbolism, for you normally associate purity rings with the purity events where the girls say, “I am pledging myself to my future husband,” and while I do wear a purity ring, it isn’t cookie-cutter, it isn’t a promise made in a gym or a big church filled with people, and though some might roll their eyes, it means much more than the artificial to me.
As I mentioned before in other posts, when I was fifteen and sixteen, I began to think deeply about my future husband. I began to read godly dating books, I began to write letters to him, and I really wanted to began to focus on being a godly woman for a man who would want day be my husband.
My future husband has some amazing gits in story. On our wedding night, he will be receiving three journals filled with letters that his future wife wrote for him for years upon years. The day before our wedding, he will receive a box with a special gift for our wedding day that I am not going to share with my blog, for I want it to be a surprise, and then, most importantly, he’s going to be getting a gift that is so precious, and that gift is my virginity.
As stated, I was nowhere near marriage at 15, but I thought of my future husband for the first time in grand detail when I was that age, and right before I was sixteen, I remember writing in one my letters, “I want to save myself for you and only you,” which I then asked for a purity ring for my 16th birthday, and here I am now in my twenties, and I still wear that ring and I am still a virgin, and I am not ashamed of it either.
When I was 16, I did not want anything else, for I only wanted a purity ring. Yes, I am aware that a ring cannot magically make you a virgin until marriage, and I am quite aware that there is no power behind a purity ring, for there is only power in Christ, but it is a symbol of my love for my future husband; a symbol that I associate with wanting to give myself to one man and one man alone; my husband. I view my purity ring as one would view an engagement ring. An engagement ring is a symbol of a woman who is to be married to a man, and my purity ring is a symbol of my waiting for my future husband.
I wanted to have something on my hand that reminded me of the man I am waiting for if I ever felt tempted or if I ever felt as if marriage was not going to happen. When I look at my ring, it reminds me of my future husband; the man I will selflessly give my all too, the man who will walk with me towards Christ, and the man who is going to selflessly give himself to me as well as we become a light on a hill for the glory of God.
That night as a 16 year old girl, I looked at the ring on my finger, and I prayed to the Lord. I prayed, “Lord, this ring has no magic behind it, but it does signify my pursuit of waiting for my husband,” and I then began to pray for the Lord to hold me accountable of the promise I had made.
As I ended that prayer, I then said, “To my future husband, I promise to wait for you no matter what high or low may arise; I will wait for you,” and I am now in my twenties, and I still wear that dainty, crystal blue ring on my finger, I haven’t taken it off in many years, and I am still a virgin even now.
“Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
However, I want to preface and say that there is a difference in virginity and purity of mind. Not only should we strive for physical purity, but we also should not forget about our heart, mind, and soul, because let’s face it, we all deal with lust, and we should nto neglect those areas either, for the heart, soul, and mind are just as important as outside purity, for the heart springs fourth all the issues of life.
In the end, waiting was never about me.
It never was.
I have always viewed the man who would want to marry me as a man worth waiting for, and I believe true love waits. I want to be able to give my future husband something so precious, something so pure, and something so valuable as virginity, and so I am waiting for him. I want to give myself to one man and one man alone, and only one man is worthy of that gift, and that is the man who would lead me to Christ before leading me to a bedroom, and for my future husband, I will wait for him as long as I have too.
I want to be able to give myself away when I am married, and I want to able to look at him and say, “For you, I waited.”
We live in a time where sex is on high demand, where everything is about sex, and where virginity is a taboo subject. I cannot put into words how many times i have been ridiculed for waiting until marriage, and sometimes, I have had women tell me that men don’t want virginal women, and I do not believe this is true, because I do believe that somewhere on this earth, a man is praying that I am waiting for him too.
I also want to believe that somewhere on this earth a man is waiting for me as well, and I’d rather be known as a fool who hopes than a person who gives up, so I wait.
With my waiting, I also think of who is waiting for me. Somewhere, I am the answer to a man’s prayers, and we must all realize that someone is praying for us, and when you think of the other person, it makes you become less selfish and more selfless, and for that man who prays for me, I am waiting, for I want to look back and say, “I waited for my husband, and he waited for me.”
“But Ruth said: “Entreat[a] me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,” Ruth 1:16
To place things into a bigger picture, God made marriage pure in His eyes, and as a woman who wants to be a Proverbs 31 woman, I am to go where the Lord goes, and I am am to do what He does, for the world will dissolve like snow, but the Lord is everlasting.
I am waiting for my future husband, I am a woman who is virginal even in her twenties, and I am not like many, but I do not do this to be “holier than thou,” I do not do this to be seen, but I do this not only because the Lord has designed sex for marriage, but also because I think that there is a man out there in this world who is worth waiting for.
I believe that a man in this world is worthy of a woman who would wait 100 years for him if she had too, who would deny every single desire for him, and who would think of him before his name was never breathed into her life. Most importantly, any man who will walk with me towards Christ, who will add me into the picture, and who will marry me is worth waiting for.
So I wait.
Even if virginity and waiting for marriage isn’t common, I wait. Even if I am ridiculed, and even with each day that passes, I will wait for the man who will be my husband, because I want to selflessly give myself away, I want my future husband to know that a woman thought of him as worth waiting for, and I want him to know that the woman he is marrying was in a relentless pursuit of Christ, and so I wait.
When I look at the ring on my finger, I think of the man who will one day put a ring on my other finger, who will one day cherish the gift that I have saved for him, and who will fall in love with my dedication to the Lord, and so this ring doesn’t have a magical power, but it does have a powerful symbol behind it, for one day, I will be a wife, and as a future wife, I am waiting for the man who will be my future husband.
“I am my beloved’s,
And my beloved is mine.
He feeds his flock among the lilies.” Song of Solomon 6:3
This ring is a reminder of the man I have loved for many years, it is a reminder of the man I am passionately praying for, and it is a reminder of the beautiful love story that will unfold in God’s timing.
So for him, I will wait, and within my heart of hearts, I believe my future husband is waiting for me too.