Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12
It is very rainy in North Carolina today, and I am also sick right now, so I am at home recovering from whatever I have by taking a sick day, and as I was getting better, I was reading a devotional about homemaking, and it reminds me of what I want to be one day; a homemaker.
I want to be a homemaker, I want to be a wife, a mom, and a homes-school mom. Of course, home-schooling is something to be discussed between my future husband and I one day when I’m married, but it is something that I have always wanted to do, and so it is a dream of mine.
I want to be a homemaker who prays non-stop for her household and who paints hand made signs to hang on the walls. I want to be a homemaker who’s light never goes out while selling Mary Kay to her friends or whatnot, and I want to be a homemaker who’s always alert, and who watches the needs of her husband and children.
Most importantly, I want to be a homemaker who gives selflessly without thinking of herself, for it is not about her, but it is about the family that the Lord blessed her with.
This is what I dream and pray of, yet so many have deemed the life that I want as “low ambition,” but though some might have had this opinion said within the past, homemaking is everything I could ask for.
To be a wife, a mom, and to be a homemaker who has a warm dinner on the table and happy kids who greet their father with open arms when he comes home from work is something I want, and yet in 2019, we have deemed homemaking as “useless” or “uneducated.”
However, I am educated; college educated. In fact, not only did I aspire for a Elementary Education degree due to loving children and teaching, but I wanted a teaching degree because I wanted to be a home-school mom one day and wanted to be better prepared. I wanted to understand standards, lesson planning, differentiated learning, and all of the other things that go along with teaching so that if I did home-school, I would be better prepared due to being trained through college
I already have home-school ideas. One of my ideas include each one of my children having their own little mailbox that they can paint and decorate, which is where they receive their work for the day, and when they are done, they place it in the little mail box with the little flag up for me to grade, and it teaches them how mail works. I have already thought of so many creative home-school crafts, lessons, and whatnot, and due to Pinterest, I have found many home-school resources that I find useful. (I really hope my husband likes my sales pitch to home-school.)
In the realm of homemaking, I want to tend for my home, I want to pray over my home constantly, and I want to do never let my lamp go out within the home. I want to be able to give my future husband an environment where he can leave a stressful day of work and know that he has a wife at home who is making him his favorite meal while his children are drawing him pictures to give him when he walks through the door.
I want to be able to give my future husband a sense of security of knowing that his wife and kids are at home safe as he is away at work, and I want to tend to the home by ensuring that it is built on Christ, by ensuring that my future children are being guided to Christ so that they will one day choose that narrow path, and I want to make my mission and my ministry my family.
Therefore, I want to be able to devote my time to Christ, being a light on a hill, and ensuring that the needs of my future family are being met.
Those are the memories I want to make; the ones that money cannot buy. Though I am supportive of women being career women, and I find that very inspiring for any person to want to do big things, we should not discount the women who want to be wives and mothers, for homemaking is the hardest job that any woman could ever work.
Being a homemaker requires a woman to be selfless, it requires her to lay down what she wants for her family, and it requires her to not think of herself. Many women ask me how I could just “give my life up” for a man and children, but I do not view it as “giving up my life,” for I am gaining one in return.
No one told me I had to do homemaking, but it is something I am passionate about and am guided too, but the simplest answer is that I want to be a homemaker, because I want to sacrifice my all for my future family.
“She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27
I want to give my all to my husband, my children, and to our home. I want to make my future family my ministry where I can breathe Jesus in and exhale grace, because I believe the best place for ministry is right in the home with the family. You have a husband and children, so what better place then to be a light on a hill within your own home? I want to make my marriage a reflection of Christ a top priority, I want to make my children growing up in truth a top priority, and I want to make Christ the ultimate priority of my family,
Sadly, many have told me that I will not find a man due to wanting to be a homemaker. Many fellow women have said that “men don’t want women with low ambitions,” and I look at them and say, “How is me being selfless to a family a low ambition?” Sure, I do not have a stellar resume with top corporations, and I do not have but so much money, but I did not think I have to have these things to be qualified to be a virtuous wife
I don’t care about a rich life, I never have. I care more about the needs being met, making sure there is food on the table, and making sure what matters is accounted for. I am okay with living in a small home that is filled with Jesus, love and, grace rather than living in a big home that has a void. If all I had was a simple home, a husband, and children, then I would be happy, because it does not take grandiosity to make me a happy person, because I find joy in the little things, not the monetary things that fade.
And yet, people do not see what I see. Many people look at me and are confused of how I want to be a homemaker, and they view me as a woman who is throwing her life away. I do not view homemaking as throwing my life away, but I view homemaking as gaining an entire life. I am going to be a wife and a mom, and I view that as the most wonderful titles I could ever have in my lifetime.
I am okay with sacrificing it all for my husband and children, I am okay with giving what I have to my husband and children, and even if I do not receive anything in return, I am not doing this for me, I am doing this for them. I do not want anything in return, but I just want a home where Jesus is our rock, our foundation, and our comfort.
“Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”” Proverbs 31:28-29
Homemaking is not for everyone, for it is the most selfless thing a woman will do in her life, but I have told God that I faithfully pick up the cross of homemaking, because it is what He is leading me to do. If all that I am in this life is a selfless wife and mother who gave, and gave, and gave to her family without expecting anything in return, then I will say that my life was well done, for that is what I want to be remembered by.
I do not want to be remembered by money, job titles, or whatever anyone else wants, but I want to be known as a virtuous wife and mother who gave all that she could so that her family would see Christ in all things; that is what I want my life to be a testament of, and I want to be a homemaker because of it.
I believe that it is okay to be a career woman as it is to be a homemaker, and there is nothing wrong with either pathways for a woman; however, a woman who chooses to be a homemaker should not be discounted or shamed, because homemaking is a selfless task that never has a sick day, never has vacation days. and does not get any Holiday off, for being a wife, a mom, and a homemaker is a 24/7 job around the clock; therefore, homemakers should not be deemed as less worthy when they are some of the hardest workers out there.
No, I am not wanting to be a homemaker because of politics or because or “extreme religious belief,” but I want to be a homemaker because my heart has always longed to be in the home and to be selfless
That is all I want to be; selfless.
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” Philippians 2:30
I want to be give to my future husband, I want to give to my children, I want to encourage my husband’s dreams with support, I want to show my children the narrow path, and I want to breathe Jesus 24/7 into the ones who matter the most to me, because you can always get another job, but you cannot always get a husband and children, and I want to view Jesus and them as more precious than anything monetary, because Jesus, my husband, and children mean more to me than any glass ceiling, because Jesus is my rock and my future family have souls that are loved by God that should be cherished as well.
Yes, money is important for paying the bills, but I do not see the need in having so much money that it’s just sitting around collecting dust. I don’t care about being rich, I don’t care about being in a certain “tax bracket,” and I do not care about showing off “what I have,” because I want to be the woman with a virtuous family who set on Jesus, and who is rich in love, joy, and grace.
That is why I want to be a homemaker. I want to make my family my ministry, because they are important, and I want to be alert in my home, and if I see something arising, I want to be able to approach that issue with love, grace, and kindness.
I want to selflessly give to my husband and children, and even if society does not understands, this is what I am passionate about, and if women can be career women, then I can be a homemaker, because I should not be deemed less worthy because of what I am passionate about, because homemaking is precious in the eyes of God, and the Proverbs 31 woman is the woman I want to be, and if I have to give up everything I have to be a woman who is relentlessly chasing Christ, then I will.
No, I am not saying you have to be a homemaker, and I do not think all women should be homemakers. I am not going to sit here and say, “You have to be like me,” for I think that is wrong, but I also think it is wrong to view homemakers under a bad light, because homemakers are some of the most selfless women to walk the earth.
They have to deny what they want,
They give without expecting anything in return,
They wear many hats,
And many of them place the Lord before all by making their family their ministry,
Therefore, we should support homemakers in their ministry, for ministry comes in all shapes and sizes.
And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Colossians 3:17
Ministry comes in all shapes and sizes, and the Lord is to be glorified through all things. Some people have a church ministry, others have a non-profit ministry, and then some have a ministry within their home, and that is what I want. I want to make my home my ministry, for I believe Christ can be glorified through a husband and a wife walking hand in hand through the narrow path while modeling to their children what the narrow path truly looks like.
And that is what I pray for.
So this post is not a post to esteem myself about others, because I know that in theory, other women are “better” and have “higher ambitions” than what I do within the eyes of society, but this isn’t a competition to me. In fact, I’ll lose the competition if makes someone feel better, but it was never about me being better or “winning,” but it is about me wanting to breathe Jesus into my future family, it is about me wanting to make it my ministry, and it is about my love for homemaking.
I am a future homemaker, and one day, I will look back when I am married with children and think, “I am so glad I did not allow myself to be swayed by opinions,” for I will be living the life I have prayed for passionately.
I am a future wife,
I am a future mother,
And I am future homemaker,
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
And though this world has tried to bring shame upon homemakers by saying that they are women who are “uneducated” or whatever term in the book, I will not feel shame for the desires within my heart, for it isn’t about me, so let society say what they want, but this life is not about me, it’s about Christ and the ones who will one day be within it, and that, my friends, is the entire part of homemaking, for it models the lesson of “I must decrease, and He must increase.”
And for Jesus, I will give up whatever I have to give to walk the narrow, and I will do the same for my family so that they walk the narrow as well, for when I get married, it’s not just me walking the narrow anymore, it’s about me, my future husband, and then praying that our future children choose to walk the narrow, and that is what my ministry will be; my family walking the narrow towards Christ and His righteousness, and if I have demote myself in the eyes of society, then I will if it means my family is on that narrow path, for at the end of the day, all of the things on this earth fade, but at the end of that narrow path is the one who will never change and that is Christ.