I am in my twenties, and I write letters to my future husband as a classic hopeless romantic; however, since I was fifteen year old, I’ve been writing letters to my future husband, and not many know this about me, but some do, such as my best friend and my mom, but my best friend always ask me, “How can you write about your future husband?” or “What do you write about?” Therefore, I have written down just a few reasons of why I have written letters to my future husband since I was 15 up to now in my twenties, and I will always believe that handwritten letters are one of the most beautiful gifts that you could give to someone.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:18-19″
I write letters to my future husband so he sees why waiting was worth it, how denying himself was worth it, and how all the pain was worth it.
As I looked through my letters, the first thing I did was read the first one, and my first one was me asking God to protect him and to guard his heart. At just fifteen, I wanted to pray for sincere issues that could potentially happen, because let’s face it, no man is perfect and a man can fall into anything; therefore, I wanted to write prayers down so that he sees a documentation of a woman who prayed for his walk with Christ, his protection, and for his heart, which will hopefully make him think the wait was worth it.
Many times, I see people think that marriage wasn’t worth it when their marriages were falling apart, and I don’t ever want my future husband to say that, so I’ve written letters as reminders of my love even if we hit rocky times, for though times might be filled with storms, love should be able to go through the fire and come out on the other side unscathed, and so my letters give him the ability to look back and know that it was worth getting married, for he’ll marry someone who prayed for him all these years.
I write to letters to my future husband so he can see how my faith grew and how God was shaping me into becoming the woman he needed me to be as wife
Throughout my letters, they became better with time. If you were to read one from when I was fifteen and then read one from my twenties, you would see the difference, and the biggest one is seeing my faith grow. When I began writing my letters, I was only two years into my walk with Christ; therefore, I was still young in my faith, but now, I am much stronger in Him, I have learned much, and I am growing and flourishing the woman Christ needs me to be.
“But now, O Lord,
You are our Father;
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all we are the work of Your hand.” Isaiah 64:8
Not only do my letters showcase the woman I am becoming in Christ, but it shows how Christ was shaping me to be the woman my future husband needs me too be. He can see how I was being shaped into the woman he’s prayed for, the woman he’s needed, and the woman who went through many seasons. He is going to see firsthand the spiritual life of who I am from fifteen years old to now, and that’s what I love about my letters. Not only do they showcase years worth of prayer and love for a man who will want me to be his wife, but they showcase how I am being shaped to be the woman he needs me to be before marriage.
Therefore, though I am going to be giving him these letters as after the wedding and reception as a homemade gift that many men cannot say they have, they are deeper than that. They are letters that prove that the woman he will marry not only loved him in the present, but she loved him before she ever knew what battles, scars, or wounds he had, and that gift is not a gift many men have, but I want my future husband to have a gift like that.
I write letters to my future husband so he sees that a woman loved him before ever knowing his struggles, battles, or wounds
I know that my future husband has probably struggled with sin, who hasn’t? In fact, the way I know he has struggled is because he is a man born into sin; therefore, he will struggle with sin in some way or another. I might not know what way, but the thing that matters is that I am praying for him, encouraging him, and letting know that I was rooting for him. Marriage is going to come with trials as well as happiness, and the narrow path is a tough road; therefore, I am going to forgive him like Christ forgave, because he is a man saved by grace, and I will view him that way instead of defining him by his sin.
That is why I’ve written prayers and letters to him, because I’ve directly written to him about holding onto faith, staying within the Word, remembering God’s promises. and I’ve even made comments of if Christ can love him in his darkest, then I can too, because sometimes, Christian women tend to want perfect husbands, and I want my future husband to know that I never wanted a perfect man, which my letters prove.
“And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”” 1 Peter 4:8
Women tend to fantasize about a perfect husband and a man who has done no wrong, yet that kind of man does not exist. Every man on this earth has sinned, battled something, or struggled with something, and if you want a man who is perfect, you will not find him due to no man on this earth, other than Christ, being perfect, and I am glad that I recognized this lesson as a young girl rather than finding out later, for Christian men do sin and they fall short of the glory of God, yet they are forgiven and redeemed by Jesus, and that is the important part of grace.
Therefore, many of my letters are fixated around the Lord guarding his heart, and I always write about forgiveness, grace, and all of the things I would want him to feel when reading my letters, because sometimes when we write about our future spouses, it can become a “perfect fantasy,” and I don’t want that uncomfortable feeling to arise when my future husband reads my letters, so I’ve made sure to incorporate brokenness, forgiveness, and tough topics into my letters, because the last thing I want to happen is for him to think that he cannot add up to my letters or else my letters would have failed its purpose.
My final reason, is that I am simply a woman who wants her future husband to know that his future wife truly loved him even before he ever knew her
That’s the simplest reason I can offer you, and writing letters isn’t for everyone, it isn’t required to be a good spouse, and this is just me wanting to show my future husband a form of love that many husbands do not have. I am a woman who is creative and a hopeless romantic, so when you place a creative woman into the hopeless romantic realm, you get this; a collection of handwritten letters for her future husband.
I’ve always wanted my future husband to feel valued even if he didn’t see it within himself, and I thought that writing letters over a span of years could provide that, for he is able to look throughout the years and see that someone did need him, someone did love him, and it was me. Sometimes, we don’t realize that someone out there is praying for us, and I am that someone who is praying for him, and my letters are that documentation of those prayers.
When he reads these letters, he can look at those dates and remember back to that day and think, “She prayed for me on the worst day of my life” or “She said she loved me on this day even though I did this or that,” and so that is why I have written letters, and I cannot wait for the day I am able to finally hand them to my future husband and say, “This is my love for you in written form” as he looks at all three journals filled with letters upon letters from the woman he made his wife. (He has a lot of reading to do.)
And what do I write about now as a twenty-something year old woman? Well, I write about marriage and children, but in serious words, I write prayers and letters asking him not to settle for just any woman even if it is convenient and easy, and I ask God to remind him that I am still here, and that if he waits, he has a pretty amazing gift awaiting him, and I’d like to think that he would think my letters were an amazing gift too.
Therefore, if you ever wondered why someone writes letters to their future spouse, here are the answers from a woman who does, and if it inspires you to do such, then that is wonderful, and you will not regret it, but you do not have to write letters to love someone. I am a woman who likes to be artistic, creative, and I am a hopeless romantic, so writing letters to a man who will one day want to marry me was right up my lane, and I am so glad that I have something unique and special to give my future husband that many men do not have, and I hope that makes me different in his eyes.
So here’s to handwritten letters titled “Dear Future Husband,” and I pray that one day, I’ll finally be able to place them into the hands of the man I’ve written too for so many years, which will be one of the best days of my life