I have been seeing the phrase, “worthy is she,” being spoken about for the past few days, and though that may sound quite profound, it perplexes me in a deep way, for when I look at all that Christ has done for me, I think, “I am not worthy to be captivated by the love, mercy, and grace of Jesus, nor am I worthy to have a relationship with Christ” and then I began to think of all the ways that I am not worthy, which brought such a deeply rooted joy and humility towards Christ and all that He is and has done for us.
In the end, I am not worthy.
The only thing I deserve, is to be in chains due to my sin; the sin that placed Jesus on the cross. Many people focus on the good, the “positive,” the happiness, and while that is great and wonderful, for us to gloat around about our worthiness and our entitlement makes us forget the central message of the Gospel.
“As it is written:
“There is none righteous, no, not one;
There is none who understands;
There is none who seeks after God.” Romans 3:10-11
We are not worthy, not you, not me, not anyone, and the only thing we “deserve,” is eternal death. Many would wince when they hear the words “eternal death,” yet it is true. If you want to speak about what a person is worthy of, it is that very thing, for every single one of us is guilty of their sin placing Christ on the cross.
Though I am not worthy, Christ in my unworthiness died for me anyways. I am not worthy, for my shame caused Jesus to be mocked by those around Him as He stood as a spectacle for all to see. My burdens caused Jesus to carry a heavy cross while those around Him laughed at Him while He was in excruciating pain and torment, and my sin caused Jesus to die a gruesome death on the cross while those around Him mocked His power and Righteousness.
I am not worthy, yet due to the grace, love, and mercy of Christ, my worth is now found in Him. My worth is not found in money, fame, or in the things this world could give, but my worth is found in Christ, not of myself. Through the blood shed by Christ, my worth is found, for though we all deserve wrath and judgement, Christ looked at us and loved us anyways; therefore, He drank the cup that was meant for us to drink so that we could have salvation, grace, and mercy.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Until you are humbled by the suffering of Christ, you cannot rejoice in the goodness of His grace, for He had to suffer so that we could live in the presence found in His freedom. Many only focus on the good side of grace, yet in order for us to rejoice about that “good side,” Christ had to suffer, be shackled, be betrayed, and tormented, yet as He went through such a horrid death, He still loved.
“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.
But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:55-57
He could have said, “No more,” yet He did not, for He wanted to defeat death and eliminate its sting. He could have looked down from His throne at our sin and decide that we were not worth it, but He stepped down from His throne knowing what He would have to go through, and though He could have allowed us to be chained to our sin, He wanted us to be free.
I am not worthy of the grace of Jesus, and every time I think of His suffering, I am overwhelmed with His love for us. My sin, my shame, my disparity caused Christ to suffer, and on a bigger scale, our sin, our shame, and our disparity caused the one who created us to suffer, and that is not an easy pill to swallow, and it humbles me every time.
“He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
I am unworthy of the grace, love, and mercy of Christ, but in Him, my worth has been found. Through the grace of God, we are made worthy and whole, and it is not because of our doing, but it is because we have placed our unworthiness at His feet while we grasped for His grace, and it is because we are covered by His blood that we are worthy.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10-12
Worthiness is found in Christ alone, for He is the only one who can create a clean heart within us. One must give their entire heart, soul, and life to Christ, and one cannot be half in, nor can one be half out, for it is only done by Christ and Christ alone, not by our own doing, works, or strengths, for no one is good, no not one.
As I walk in the wilderness, I hear His gentle voice say, “I am right here, daughter,” and I am reminded of the goodness of Jesus. As I continue to grow into the well-watered woman He wants me to be, I am reminded of the many wonders He has done for me, and I cannot help but proclaim, “Thank you Lord, for washing my heart clean,” for I do not deserve to walk with Christ, nor am I worthy of having eternity with Him, yet due to the unfailing, unending, and passionate love of God, He loved us, and He declared victory over death by saying “It is finished.”
So Lord, may you forever be the sweet song on my lips, for you are worthy of my praise and worship, for you died so that I could live, and you suffered so that I could be radiant in the midst of your joy. Oh Lord, I am unworthy, yet through your grace alone, I have been made worthy and whole, and I shall be forever humbled by your suffering and grace, for I am unworthy and am nothing without you, yet in my unworthiness, you whispered, “I still love you.”