I haven’t written my usual marriage/dating posts in awhile, for I was writing about other things God had placed on my heart during my Bible studies and journaling; however, marriage is something that God has placed on my heart quite strongly in the past few years, which is what produced the posts I have written in the past, and though I am single, I do pray about marriage and that is occurs soon. Today, however, I am going to be placing the spotlight on my heart and examining whether I am the godly woman my future husband would want to marry, for sometimes, there is the tendency for many Christian women to forget that the man at the end of our prayers is also praying for a godly wife.
I have found a tendency in some Christian women that needs to be addressed. We have the tendency to always list what we want in future husbands, but we sometimes forget to realize that our future husbands want us to be godly women as well while rather than us just praying for them to be godly. Godliness is not a one way street, and it takes both people making Christ the foundation rather than one pulling the weight.
Though Christian women can write down a list of things that their future husbands must have, do we have the same traits that we have written down, for if you want a godly man, then he most definitely wants a godly woman as his wife, so you must bring to the table the same that you want him to bring to you.
I understand the dreams, for I pray about my future husband, I want to get married now and have children, begin cooking for someone other than my mom, and I want to be able to have a godly marriage filled with love, happiness, and joy. I yearn for that, I am ready to settle down, and for the past few years, I’ve been wondering about Mr. Right more closely.
However, if I want a godly marriage, then I must be a godly woman, for I cannot expect a godly man if I am not a godly woman. I cannot pray for a man who is loving, kind, joyful, and in love with Jesus if I am not the same things. If I want a man who will lead me closer to Jesus, then I must be a woman who can lead him closer to Jesus. If I want a man who will be honest, loyal, and faithful, then I must be honest, loyal, and faithful.
“The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12
I have to be to my future husband what I want him to be to me, for it is not fair to expect these things from him if I am not going to offer the same traits to him as a wife. If I want a godly man, then I must be a godly woman. There is not “ifs,” “ands,” or “buts,” about that, if I want to marry a godly man and have the godly marriage that I yearn for, I must be fully in love with Jesus, I must be godly, and I must be willing to examine myself to get rid of things that are not God glorifying or could hinder a marriage.
As I have said before in other posts, many women believe that marriage will change them into godly women instantly, and though that sounds nice, it does not work that way. The wedding night does not have a magical power to make us more godly, and as I have mentioned before, if a woman is selfish before marriage, she will become a selfish married woman, if a woman is not godly before marriage, she will not be a godly woman in marriage.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
If you want to be a Proverbs 31 woman, you must be one before you ever walk down the aisle, and if you want to be a godly wife, you must first be in love with Jesus before every loving a man. How can I love the man who gets down on one knee for me if I find it difficult to love the man who died on the cross for me? How can I have a godly marriage with my future husband when my relationship with Jesus is not stable, and how can I be faithful to my future husband if I find it difficult to be faithful to Jesus?
These are the questions we need to ask ourselves, for marriage is not just walking down to a man at the end of the aisle in a beautiful gown, marriage is not just about the feelings, and marriage is not just a piece of paper, but marriage is sacred in the eyes of God, and once you enter a marriage, you have entered it with God, you, and your future husband.
My future husband is praying for a woman who is not only godly, but who is in love with Jesus, and how can I expect him to be that when I am not that? It would be hypocritical for me to expect my future husband to be the godly man of my prayers when I am not the godly woman of his prayers. I am not the only one praying for a godly marriage or a godly spouse, for the man I will marry is also praying those prayers as well.
I pray to God that my future husband sees my love for Christ in all that I do, and I do not want him to doubt anything for a second. I want to not only be the woman he prays for, but to exceed those prayers, and in order for me to do that, I have to be in love with Jesus, I have to be a woman who denies the world and walks in truth, and I must constantly examine my heart, for the heart springs the issues of life.
I understand planning the wedding of your dreams in your head and dreaming about the man who will love you unconditionally, but the marriage isn’t just a husband, but it is about you as a wife as well, and you must be the woman of his dreams, you must be the woman who will love him unconditionally, and you must be the woman who will be there for him in sickness and in health and in any trial.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
You must be the woman who will stand by his side regardless of what happens, you must be the woman who will be able to help encourage him to fight the spiritual battles he may go through, you must be the woman who is able to still love him even if he becomes sick, ill, or whatnot. He is not the only one who should love you during these times, but you should be able to as well.
I pray that I am the woman my future husband needs me to be, the godly woman our future marriage needs, and I pray that God shapes me into the woman he prays to receive, for I want to go into a marriage knowing that we are both passionately in love with Jesus and that we both make Christ the foundation. That is what I pray for, and everyday, I will look at myself and ask, “Would my future husband fall in love with the current state of my heart and would he see Jesus shinning within me,” and I hope that many more Christian women ask themselves that, for our future husbands want godly women just as much as we want godly men, and if we wouldn’t settle for less, then we should not expect them to settle for less either; therefore, it’s time we see if we would make godly wives to the godly men we passionately pray for.