I apologize for my absence, but college has been quite strenuous, and I have had several occurrences that have caused me to not formally sit down and write, for life can become stressful very quickly the older you become; however, I am going to be speaking on a subject that is quite dear to my heart, so thank you for being patient with me as I slowly return to the blogging scene, for I do have other posts that I am currently writing to catch up.
My birthday was yesterday, which means I another year older, and many have asked me, ‘Christina what do you want in life,” and I reply with “A family to raise.” I am now at marriage age, many have asked me if I plan on getting married, and if God allows me too, then yes, I will get married; however, I am content with where God takes my life, and I am fully satisfied in my walk with Christ, for He is the only one who can satisfy us, and if you place anything above God, then it will crumble and fail.
However, we all have desires that we pray to God for, we all have the deepest yearnings in our hearts, and this post is a small look into what I am currently thinking or desiring. At my age, yes, it would be a family. I am in my twenties, I do want a godly husband and children, so it has crossed my mind several times. I have had several conversations about this topic within the last week, and many ask “When do you want to get married,” so this question inspired this post due to it being the infamous question that all single people get asked as they get older.
Though some would say I am “too young” or that I should “focus on myself,” I am not about selfish intent, but about selfless intent; therefore, I have the needs of others in mind before my own, which is why I view family as an important part of who I am. I have no desire to live for myself, but to live for God and others; therefore, my biggest desire is to one day be a homemaker, for having a family also me to serve and attend to needs of others.
The other day, I was talking to a close friend about marriage, for she asked if I was going to “start dating,” and I said that I am not interested in many of guys at my university due to their lack of commitment, lack of dedication to Christ, and due their mindsets not being driven by intentionality.
I do not believe in dating with no intent, for I believe in dating intentionally; therefore, I want a man who is ready to be married, who is ready for children, who has a kind heart, who is godly, who is Christ-like, who is Conservative, who is not like the world, and who will be a good example to our children. I want a man who will be steadfast, who will be protector, who will support me in my calling as a young woman, and I want a man who will put Christ first as the foundation that we stand on. However, I am fully aware that I must be all of these things, for I must have the same qualities to offer as well.
Though I am confident in what I want and the path that God has placed me on, I trust God with my future, and I do not worry. When the right man does come along, I want to be so in love with Jesus that my love for Christ is the most captivating thing about me.
However, I do want to give my two cents on “Millennial Dating,” for I blame the lack of understanding on the “culture” we live in, for our culture is about selfish intent and the needs of “oneself” rather focusing on what truly matters. It is now apparent than younger people are not getting married and are not having children anymore, for we have had record lows in births in the history of the country as of late, which worries me, for not only the family dynamic is changing, but a godly foundation in Christ is fading as well.
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-5
Sure, I am “young,” and many my age are not thinking of marriage, but why aren’t we? Why aren’t we thinking about taking on a spouse and encouraging them to continue to walk the narrow path? Many Millennials would answer this question with the typical, “I want to experience the party scene or “freedom” before I am wed,” which I think is a flawed mentality to somewhat have. I see no need in going through a “wild stage” before getting married, nor do I see a need in having “freedom” before marriage, for true freedom comes in Christ, not wild early life crisis’s; however, one should not be in a hurry, for one should seek God and His Will for one’s life, so I do not encourage desperation, nor do I suggest rushing down the altar, for you should wait on God for your spouse, for marriage is not a “piece of paper,” it is a convent between you, God, and the person; therefore, you want to ensure you are marrying the one God has for you, not the person you marry out of desperation.
When looking at Millennial women, and the way society is, I truly believe that a woman’s most God-honoring role is within the family, for money cannot buy happiness, nor can money buy you a godly husband and children; therefore, I believe in placing a family above all else, for they are worth more than what money can give you. However, due to the need to go through a wild “twenties” stage or due to the need to want to be “in control of one’s self,” the priority of a family is diminishing, which is evident in the low record births that we are seeing.
Which makes us go full circle to the infamous question. While many reply with “I am afraid of commitment” or “I do not want to ever get married,” I am different, very different, and I am okay with being different. My dreams and goals are different than most my age, and I am in a place in life that many aren’t in; however, what God has for me might not be what He has in store for someone else at the current moment, yet people fail to realize that God does not make everyone’s purpose on the same timeline, which causes people to become frustrated with God or confused.
I am different, for I do want a family, for you can always be a successful career woman, but you do not have forever to be a successful wife and mother, for you cannot always obtain a husband and children as you can a job.
Therefore, I want a man who will encourage me in my walk with God, who loves Christ without ceasing, and who will lead me closer to Christ on the narrow path. I want a man who is willing to stand against the world we live in, for this world is against God, and nothing in this world can satisfy you like Christ can. I want to raise children in truth, and I want to be have my family as my ministry for God.
However, many believe that homemaking is an “easy job” or task, but I beg to differ. Homemaking is not an easy job, nor will it ever be an easy job. I plan on raising my children 24/7, I hope to home school, I plan on working hard into my marriage and children, I plan on making sure my children are being shielded from the evils of the world while still learning what they need to in order to be well-rounded citizens.
“She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27
I plan on doing many tasks all while watching a handful of children. I then plan on making room for my future husband, making sure we are close and connected, and making sure he is heard, but most importantly, I plan on placing God above all else even when I cannot walk another step and even when things are looking good for me. Stay-at-home mothers do not get paid, they do not get sick days, and they do not get vacation days, so if anyone says being a stay-at-home mom is a result of “laziness,” they need a lesson in what the word “lazy” truly means, for stay-at-home mothers are one of the most hardworking women to grace the earth.
However, many do not understand where I am coming from, for we do live in a society where the focus is taken off of others and focused on oneself. We live in a world where if you are not a “rich, career woman,” you are considered to have “not made it” or “aren’t good enough.” I truly do not desire to be rich or a “big career woman,” for I am only a part-time Kindergarten teacher. In the end, I do not seek to be about “wants,” for I want to be about the needs of others, which is why I do desire a family of my own one day.
“I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And I will glorify Your name forevermore.” Psalm 86:12
I do not wish for a “rich life,” I do not wish to be “known by the masses,” and I do not wish to be an envied woman, but when it comes to purpose and desires, I pray in my faithful heart to be a wife and a mom, and if God graciously gives me those desires, I will praise Him always, and if He does not give those things to me, I will still praise Him always, but If He were to make me a Proverbs 31 woman, then I would consider that purpose to be a purpose of higher calling.
Our society has created this false ideology that a woman must “break glass ceilings or else she’s not a true woman,” which I vehemently deny this ideology. I am a young woman who doesn’t need to break glass ceilings, for my identity is found in Christ, and I am worth more than rubies; therefore, no glass ceiling can compare to the worth found in Jesus Christ.
Regardless of the lack of support, I will be a stay-at-home mom one day, for God has placed this calling upon my life when I was 14 years old, and calling might not be another woman’s calling, and that is okay. There is nothing wrong with working, there is nothing wrong with higher education, for I am almost done with a degree myself, but if God has placed the call of homemaking on your life, then you should embrace that calling just as much as a woman who works as a successful career woman.
“ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”” Joshua 1:9
I am now another year older, and I continue to seek God, I continue to seek Jesus, and I will always seek His Will above my will, for His Will surpasses any plan I could have come up with, for He knows my needs above what I think I need. I am a young woman who seeks to be different than the people around her, for I seek to be a light on a hill, and I do embrace marriage and having children, for these two things require a heart of selflessness, and I shall forever support acts of selflessness.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2
Sure, I might not be an average twenty-something year old, but I am not called to be like the world, I am called to set apart. I am called to be a light set on a hill, a godly woman, and a woman of truth, and until God allows my future husband into my life, I will continue to faithfully serve Jesus, for He is worthy of all praise, and one day, I will be looking back on this day thankful that I did not back down from what my calling was, for the truth is, I am a future wife, a future mother, and an aspiring Proverbs 31 woman, and you are a future spouse, a future parent, and a person that needs to be a godly and courageous person as well, for what you do now will impact what yuo do later.
Therefore, this is my answer to the “When are you getting married” or the “Why aren’t do dating,” or even the “What do you want to do with your life” question, for these are the top questions all of us get asked each year we get older and older, so I hope you enjoyed picking my brain,