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A lot of Christian women get into the habit of listing all of these things down in a “husband,” yet they do not realize that godly men probably have things in mind that they would want in a wife one day, and as Christian women, we must strive to be godly women as well. We cannot ask God for a godly man when we aren’t being godly, and we cannot ask for a man who loves Jesus if we find it difficult to love Jesus.
I am not a man, so I am only speaking on these out of things that Proverbs 31 entails, for the chapter is about a mother telling her son what he should look for in a wife, and these things derive from that chapter; therefore, these are things godly women should aquire before ever thinking about walking down the aisle.
A godly woman must have a strong relationship with Jesus
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
This one is a given, and without this one, you might as well not even look at the rest. Without Christ, you are nothing, you are not satisfied, you are not whole, and you will never know what love is if you do not know the love of Jesus Christ; therefore, you cannot even think about being a wife if you aren’t dedicated to Christ.
If you cannot love the man who died for you on a cross, then you will never be able to love a man who gets down on one knee for you. If you are not able to confess your faults to Jesus, then you will never be able to confess your wrongdoings to your future husband. If you are not able to stay faithful to God, then you will never be able to stay faithful to a husband.
It is shocking to see so many women believe they can be a “godly wife” without a relationship with God. The entire definition of “godliness” is to strive to be Christlike, and without a relationship with Him, it is impossible to be godly.
A man wants a woman who can be a spiritual encouragement, who will be a Proverbs 31 Woman, and who will be a godly mother to his children. A mother has the calling to motherhood, and a man wants a woman who is able to rise up that calling in a God glorifying way, and if you cannot embrace and uphold your worth as a Daughter of the King, then you will not know how to raise your children or be a wife.
Therefore, you must fall in love with Jesus before you ever think about falling in love with a man, for a man wants a woman in love with Jesus and not a woman who “only goes to church on Sundays.”
A godly woman must be kind, soft-spoken, gentle, and meek
“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4
In 2018, women are loud, not gentle, and are marching the streets screaming at men. When looking at Proverbs 31, a virtuous wife has kindness on her heart and wisdom on her tongue; therefore a godly woman should be gentle, meek, and not always seeking to have the lard word, for sometimes, it isn’t worth it. A godly woman should turn the other cheek, be graceful, and show kindness, for this is the kind of woman that will make a virtuous wife.
“Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop,
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Proverbs 21:9
The Bible even says it is better for a man to sit on the roof of his house rather than to listen to his quarreling wife. Harsh? Yes, but it proves a point. A gentle and meek spirit contains incorruptible beauty, and you do not have to be contentious to heard, for a soft answer turns away wrath, and a gentle spirit is able to understand and grow in grace; therefore, be a woman who’s spirit is gentle and meek, for a spirit of loudness makes a person stop listening, which then cause problems to arise.
A godly woman must not be self-absorbed
2018; the year where every girl on Instagram is a model, or girls are always posting selfies, and are always yearning to have their beauty showcase. Ladies, being self-absorbed might get you recognition, but it also shows that you are only artificial if you keep posting your face all the time.
You are going to be a future mom, and would you want your daughters to only care about their looks? No, you wouldn’t, so why would you? What you do now is going to be the influence that your children will be looking at, and a godly man wants a wife of a good influence and not a bad one. Yes, it is okay to feel beautiful, but you don’t have to prove it. A beautiful woman does not have to showcase it for all to see, so you don’t have too. God says you are already fearfully and wonderfully made, and you don’t have to flaunt it for it to be true.
Instead of focusing on your outward appearance, focus on God, for if you are focusing on anything other than God, your walk with Him will suffer. Anything you put before God becomes your idol, and you do not want yourself to become your idol.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
A godly man wants a wife who puts God before all, who does all things in love, and who is humble, and being so consumed with how you look is going to harm your ability to be humble.
A godly woman must not be a gossip
“Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Ladies, you know what I am talking about, for gossip can be tempting, but be humble. Instead of gossiping about other women, pray for them, for they needs grace just as much as you and I do. Yes, gossip can be hard and tempting at times, but refrain, for you don’t know what battle someone is facing.
A godly man does not want a woman who will make other women feel bad, for that is not godly character. A godly man wants a woman who will pray for someone rather than talking bad about them. You should always be humble and kind to each person you see, for you are to be a light on a hill, and gossip hides that light.
A godly woman must be virtuous and not promiscuous
“God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.” Psalm 46:5
In 2018, it is more acceptable to be promiscuous than it is virtuous, but virtue goes a long way. A godly man does not want a woman who does not have dignity, for he wants a woman who upholds herself in truth, who is grounded in Christ, and who knows that her identity comes from Christ.
“She is more precious than rubies,
And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15
Being virtuous means that you know your worth, that you know that you are more than what this world says you are, and that your future husband is also worth the wait. A godly man wants a woman who puts the feelings of others into consideration before her own, so be virtuous and understand that waiting is worth it in the long run.
Be a godly woman with grace, and do not be afraid to embrace God’s design for you, for you are a ruby, you are a gem, and you are His daughter, so be virtuous for you are worth more than being objectified by the world when God says you are worth more than your outside appearance.
A godly woman must seek God rather than seeking every man that comes her way
I have met a young lady or two who are always in need or a man or who are always seeking a man, and that is the kind of attitude that will not find you godly man. A godly man wants a woman who can be content with being single and who can still say “God you are good” even if she does not ever get married.
Being desperate does not attract a man of God, for godly women are to trust God rather than seeping to the level of desperation. Not every man is “the one,” for only one man will be your husband, so most of the men you know are not even going to be you husband, for only one of them is, and you might not have met him yet, so relax!
“To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:” Ecclesiastes 3:1
Marriage will happen when God says it will happen, and nothing you do can change God’s plans, so you might as well trust Him and let go. Acquire high standards, grow your relationship with Jesus, and do not view singleness as a curse, for this season is filled with lessons that you need to learn before you get married, so do not miss out on the lessons that God has for you or else you’ll walk into a marriage blind and not ready.
A godly woman should love children and her calling as a woman
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3
This one is the biggest one that 2018 does not like, which is motherhood. A godly woman should aspire to be a mother, for that is the biggest blessing a woman can have. As a young woman myself, I pray to have 4 children one day, for I want a big family full of love, happiness, and godliness! I want to be a wife, I want to be a mom, and I am so thankful for the calling God has for me as a young woman.
God does not hate women, and as a woman of God, I see His love for me throughout His plan for me. He has chosen me to give life to children, He has entrusted me to be a future mom, and He has entrusted me to be a future godly wife and to be an encouragement to my future husband. God loves me enough to give me these responsibilities, and as a godly woman, I gladly accept my duty as a future wife and mom.
A godly man wants a woman who wants children and a family, for that is the biggest blessing God has given us, so embrace the gift God gave you, for children, no matter how bad their tantrums might be at two years old, they will never be regret to you, for those are your babies, they came from your womb, and they are apart of you, so don’t deny your gift to motherhood, for motherhood is your biggest blessing.
In the end…
These seven traits that are important, for a godly man does not want a woman whose faith is lacking, who is loud and harsh, who is full of herself, who is promiscuous, who doesn’t seek God, and who is only focused on artificial things.
Continue to grow in God and do not seep down to a leave of pity and desperation where all you do is sulk, for that is not helping you and is only stunting your spiritual growth in Christ.
In the end, continue to thrive in God and His promises and let God write your love story. Do not try to take control, for we are not God. He knows what is best, so you need trust Him, grow in Him, and always seek to do things for His glory, and then one day, the right man will step in and he will be the God chosen man for you.