(photo credit: Unsplash)
When I first began my walk with Christ, I used to write letters to God, and I found them the other day, and I began crying when I read them, for I remember each emotion, each feeling, and the realness I was writing to God. When I wrote those letters, I was being bullied in the school I was at, I was an insecure and shy 13 year old girl, and I didn’t know what my purpose was yet.
Though I was so new to my faith, my love for God was so strong, so encouraging, and so faithful. My walk with Christ has gone through many highs and through some storms, but God never left me. He was there through it all, and I thought I’d pick back up with the letter writing, for I saw how much I grew when I read back over them, so I thought I’d begin documenting these letters, because I believe there is safety in numbers, and when you confide in others about what God is doing in your life or what storm you are going through, you build strong relationships with other Christians who either understand your situation or are in the same storm as you. You both pray together, you both learn from each other, and you aren’t alone, and I want this to a community where we are connected and like family, for we are family in accordance to God.
So the other day, I got the strongest urge to write the words that my heart was praying, and I could not do anything until I wrote them down, so here’s my heart on paper, aka the internet, and these words just flowed from my heart onto the screen, so it’s raw, this wasn’t planned, and it’s just from my heart to your eyes, so I hope that it inspires you to begin to open your heart to pouring the words you ache to tell God on paper as well, for once you begin to write to God, you will find yourself not being able to put the pen down.
“The Lord is far from the wicked,
But He hears the prayer of the righteous.” Proverbs 15:29
Give me a man whose faith is uncontained, and is like a fire; a fire that can be unquenched.
Give me a man whose love for you is unrestrained, and is like a flood that cannot be contained.
Give me a man whose foundation is rooted in the Word, whose foundation is so strong, that no wave can break it down, and through any storm and through any high, he seeks you always.
Give me a man who isn’t perfect, but is flawed. Give me a man who understands his need for you, who understands he is not able to save himself, and that you are the only one who supplies his strength.
But the same must be for me, for marriage isn’t just about a godly husband, but it’s also about a godly wife.
Make me a woman whose faith is also uncontainable like a fire that cannot be quenched.
Make me a woman who’s love for you is unrestrained like a flood that cannot be contained.
Make me a woman whose foundation is rooted in your Word, and whose foundation is so strong that no wave can break my faith, and make me see my need for you through any high and low I may endure.
Make me a woman who understand she isn’t perfect, and that I always know my need for you.
Make me the woman my future husband needs me to be, but also make me the woman you need me to be.
I am just a young woman who finds her worth in you, and I have faith in the unknown, so when you see fit to bring a man into my life, I will be happy, but if you don’t think I am ready for it right now, then I will still be happy, for your promises never fail.
I have no clue who my future husband is, but I am not worried. I do not fret about who he is or where he is, nor do I feel the need to “go on a date” every time a man acknowledges me. I have faith that you will write our love story when the time is right, because my love story with my husband has already been written, but I just don’t know what it is yet.
Right now, I am seeking you and building a strong relationship with you. If I cannot be close to the one who gave His life for me, then I cannot give my heart to the man who will get on one knee for me. Women think marriage will “automatically change them,” but it doesn’t. If a woman isn’t willing to seek you wholeheartedly before marriage, then she will not want to seek you after marriage either. Therefore, I want to grow in you with no “ultimatums.” God, I don’t serve you with the intent of “just finding a husband,” but I serve you because you are my Father, you are Righteous, you are Faithful, you are Never-ending, you are Perfecton, you are Grace, you are Love, and you are my Redeemer. I serve you because without you, I am nothing.
I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if it wasn’t for your redeeming grace.
I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if it wasn’t for your reckless love.
I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if it wasn’t for your justful mercy.
I sure would not be the woman I am today if it wasn’t for you, and I will not be able to be a godly wife without being a faithful child to you.
Therefore, I not only pray that my future husband is strong in you, but I also pray the same for me. I pray to be dedicated to you, to be strong in your Word, to be wrapped up in your love, and to be kind, loving, and have the fruits of the Spirit.
I don’t know where my future husband is, but let him know that I am diligently seeking you and waiting faithfully. Ease his mind, for women in 2018 are not finding their worth in you anymore, so let him know that I am standing up for godliness. Let my future husband know that I am seeking you, so he doesn’t have to worry about whether I am godly or not, for godliness is my only goal.
Let my future husband continue to seek you as you lead him to me, let him get so consumed with your love, that the only time he looks up is for you to show him who his wife is, and let the same be for me. Let me be so consumed with my love for you, that the only time I look up is for you to show me who my future husband is.
Cultivate a strong foundation in both my future husband and I, so we can both serve you with all our hearts. While I do not know who my future husband is, I pray for his protection, his walk with you, and for his health. I pray many things for him, and I pray that he never loses hope, for you are the source of our hope.
I am faithful to you, for your compassions never fail and are overflowing, you know my heart, and my desires, you know what my heart whispers in the midst of the silence, and I believe you make all things work out for my good.
Take care of my future husband, and I also promise to take care of him too when you bring him to me. I promise to be a wife of integrity, a wife of patience, a wife of love, a wife of virtute, and a wife of godliness. I promise to mother his children with godliness, virtue, and tenderness, and I promise to never let him question his love or his devotion to me. I promise to rise above the standard, and I promise to put you first no matter who walks into my life, for you are the source of all blessings, and I will praise you for them and not take them for granted.
I am a simple lady praying for her husband and future, and I have faith that you listen to my heart even in the darkness of the night, the stillness of the day, and in the loudness of the storm. Let your will be done in both my life and in my future husband’s life so we can both serve you.
With all of my heart and soul,