The Problem With “Virgin Shaming”

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Where have I been?

Well, I’ve been very busy with college, licensing exams, papers, and teaching that I am already working on, but I am back! I have not forgotten about blogging, but time hasn’t been so easy to find these days, but it is better to be late than never, right?

Anyways, I’m ready to jump back into my writing mode, so it’s good to be back.

Enjoy tonight’s post! 🙂

If anyone were to ever think a woman being a virgin makes here “less dateable,”  or “less of a woman,” please tell that person to take a seat, and explain that we need to have a small chat.

Recently, I had some feedback that caused me to be a little shocked as a Christian woman, and it deals with the concept of “Virgin shaming.”

The last few weeks, I noticed a trend with TV and those around me, and it was one thing:

Society thinks that those who are virgins are “less of a woman or man” or “will not make good spouses,” and I was utterly offended. I normally do not get offended, I normally let comments roll off my back like water, but this one hit me in my gut, for it attacked something I believed in very passionately.

“She is more precious than rubies,

And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15

First off, me being a virgin does not make me less of a woman, for my “womanhood” is not defined by “how many men I sleep with.” My “womanhood” is not defined by my sexuality, it is not defined by “promiscuity,” and it is not defined on my body or my looks. My womanhood is defined by godly principles and is rooted in Jesus Christ; therefore, anything “artificial” or “temporary” does not make me who I am.

As a young woman who is both a virgin and is also in her twenties, I hear and see a lot of things happening around me in our current day world. A lot of people my age are “sex-addicted,” have raging hormones, and sleep with anyone. This is what you call “Hookup Culture,” for society is now promoting the “sleep with who you want, when you want attitude,” which not only is that flawed, but it also causes many problems to arise.

Millennials only support those who support the same things they do; therefore, if you are an ounce different from them, they will chew you up and spit you out of their mouths, which shows their lack of a moral compass. In 2018, society calls promiscuity “good” and virginity “evil” because it “contradicts” what they believe.

Society wants people to think that virginity is “wrong’ or “old-fashioned,’ when it all actuality, waiting for marriage should be encouraged due it being God’s will. A real woman doesn’t have to sleep with a man and a real man doesn’t have to sleep with a woman to “prove anything.” As a virginal woman, I do not see the need to “go with the flow,” for I’d rather be the odd person out than to slip deep into a sin.

“For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

I do not need validation from the world, for I am not here to serve the world, but I am here to serve God. It infuriates me when I see people insult virgins by calling them “not manly” or “not a real woman” due to them standing up for godliness. Honestly, those who are waiting for marriage or are taking a stand for purity are the real definition men and women instead of those who partake in “Hookup Culture,” for it takes a mature person to deny themselves to follow God.

At my age, women are on their fourth or so boyfriend by now, but I haven’t truly ever been in a serious relationship, but that does not mean that I am “less of a woman” or “less of a future wife.” It takes a real woman to deny herself for her future husband, it take a real woman to say “No, this is wrong and I will not do it,” and it takes a real woman to take a stand and not “go with the flow.”

I am not a robot, I am not a promiscuous woman, and I will never subject myself to sexual objectification, and my future husband will love me just the same even though I am an innocent woman, and I would rather marry a man who truly loves me than to be with a man who is only “lusting” after me.

I might not be “experienced,” I might be a virgin, and I might not have a dating history, but that doesn’t mean I doomed to being a “bad wife.” In fact, I plan on being an amazing wife, for I have an strong relationship with Christ, I am cultivating His Word in my heart and life, and I am working on myself daily to ensure that I am where I should be as a godly woman, so no, my “virginity” or my “lack of dating’ has no ruling over my future.

Will there be men who wouldn’t date me due to me being a virgin? Probably, but the right man will not turn me down! The right man will cherish and respect my purity, and the right man God has for me will not be apart of society.

I am a virgin and I am waiting for marriage, and I have no shame in admitting this. I am still a woman no matter what people say, because God says that I am worth more than rubies, and no one can compete with God.

Society failed, for I refuse to take their bait.

“For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”” Joshua 1:9

I am a woman whose identity is found in Christ, and I will not compensate my purity, for it belongs to my husband, and if you aren’t my husband, then you have no right to it. Virgin shaming might be happening in 2018, but here is one girl who encourages waiting until marriage, and I don’t care how old-fashioned it makes me.

16 thoughts on “The Problem With “Virgin Shaming”

  1. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

    As the whirlwind passeth, so is the wicked no more: but the righteous is an everlasting foundation. Proverbs 10:25

    Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity. 2 Timothy 2:19

    For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 3:11

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Christina! 🙂

      How do you know, Faith in Truth and Good, Judgment and the practice of Righteousness lead us to the LORD, for Freedom and Peace, Love and Salvation.
      Keep your focus on HIM and not on the mud and darkness of the world.

      The best sequence of the verses above in this comment are:

      Hebrews 11: 1
      2 Timothy 2:19
      Proverbs 10:25
      1 Corinthians 3:11

      WordPress does not allow the editing of comments made in the pages of the users, only on the own page. Sorry, again!

      Thanks for your post, and blessings !!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you completely, for the wait will be worth it in the long run, and I look forward to one day giving that gift to my future husband. I’m glad to be back too, and I can’t wait to write more! God bless you, and I hope you have had a blessed Monday! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish that I could love this post because it’s so honest and beautiful! The world will always see aspects of Christianity old fashioned and restrictive, but staying strong in our faith is going to make it that much more enjoyable when we come face to face with Jesus. Keep doing you girl and I loved the bit about them “taking a seat”! lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you! People will always think that Christianity is “old-fashioned” or “has too many restrictions,” but they don’t realize the goodness in the gospel, which is sad, but for those who seek Him, the reward is very sweet!

      Thank you for enjoying this post! I love that bit too, for I wish I could sit so many people down and talk to them about so many things! haha!

      God bless you, and have a wonderful rest of your Monday! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. 25. Saved I am by Jesus

    1. Certain I am that Christ Jesus is my King,
    Of my soul is the Protector;
    I go forward with faith, next to His flock,
    With the strength of my Savior.

    CHORUS: Saved I am by Jesus, my good Savior,
    I feel in me His peace, His love;
    I go forward by grace, with faith in the Lord,
    My beloved and divine Shepherd.

    2. Certain I am that Christ, the faithful Savior,
    Will fulfill His work of love:
    Eternal work, perfect, of great value,
    Ordained by God, Creator.

    3. Certain I am that my mighty Jesus
    Will give me always strength and courage,
    And also more virtue, more grace, and more light;
    Jesus, I will serve with fervor.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. In fact, I plan on being an amazing wife, for I have an strong relationship with Christ, I am cultivating His Word in my heart and life, and I am working on myself daily to ensure that I am where I should be as a godly woman, so no, my “virginity” or my “lack of dating’ has no ruling over my future.

    Great post.God bless u and Lead u more deeper in Love with Him.

    Liked by 1 person

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