(photo credit: Unsplash)
Purity is one of those topics that I’ve been studying in-depth at the current moment, and it’s also something that you don’t see anymore. We live in times where doing what you want with who you please is considered normal, which is a very destructive mentality that both leaves you feeling empty and feeling shameful, which was never in God’s plan for your life.
As a young woman, I normally get asked “Christina, what is the big deal with waiting?” It isn’t normal for those my age to be passionate on waiting, and purity is considered taboo in current day society, but I plan on waiting and it is the best choice that I have ever made.
Some people think that I am waiting due to my parents raising me up in church and others think I am waiting due to “fear of rejection,” but those excuses are not valid reasons on why I personally chose to wait until I am married.
I am waiting for marriage because I am worth more than a one night stand
In 2018, we live in a hookup culture where you have “causal sex” or “have sex with your best friend with no strings attached,” and both of those mindsets are wrong. There is no such things as “no strings attached sex,” becaus sex is very powerful, it brings two people together and unites them, and it has a strong emotional bond on you both.
When I got my heartbroken when my ex cheated on me at 16, I was a mess, so I could not imagine putting myself into pain due to a man not calling me back the next day after I gave him something that didn’t belong to him.
I am worth more than a guy who just sees me as another “score,” I am worth more than a guy who isn’t going to lead me to marriage, and I am worth more than having to subject myself to pain that God didn’t want me in.
“She is more precious than rubies,
And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15
I am worth more than rubies, and I embrace the design and the worth that God made me in, so why am I going to allow a random man who isn’t my future husband to come into my life and destroy what God established? Trust me, temptation is real, and I am not hear trying to say that waiting is easy, but I have to deny myself, I have to carry my cross, and I realize that my purity is sacred in the eyes of God.
15 minutes of lust isn’t worth the lifelong years of regret
I care about my future husband, so I refuse to break his heart over 15 minutes of passion that will ultimately lead me to lifelong shame. I don’t want to live the rest of my life wondering if my husband has truly forgiven me, I don’t want to have to live my life always feeling ashamed in front of God, and I don’t want to have to live my life always regretting my decision.
I know that there are women who have fallen into temptation, and I pray for them dearly, and they are worthy of God’s forgiveness, and I cannot imagine the amount of pain those women must go through. I have met women who have encouraged me in my purity for they know the pain that comes with not waiting.
Therefore, I am going to wait, for I don’t want to live my life feeling as if my walk with Christ is forever impaired. I don’t want to always wonder if my husband isn’t fully in love with me due to me not thinking in the 15 minutes of temptation. If I were to give up my purity before marriage, I would be afraid of my husband thinking “I wasn’t the first man to have this kind of connection with my wife,” and I would always feel as if I failed him, and I don’t want to subject myself to shame that was never meant for me.
“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
God never meant for us to go through that kind of shame, so I refuse to put myself into the seat of shame. God meant for us to have peace, joy, and happiness, and I want to live in that purpose. My husband is a man who is worth waiting for, and that is what gives me the strength to wait. Knowing that there is a man who is going to be there to make the waiting worth it is an encouragement, so I refuse to live in regret, but I live in hope.
I don’t have to have premarital-sex with a man to know if God wants me to marry him
When I was a junior in high school, a girl told me “Christina, how will you know if the guy is “the one” if you don’t have sex? What if you both aren’t compatible for each other and are stuck in a marriage that isn’t working?” Sex is not the way God will tell me if my husband is the one. God will tell me who my husband is through my prayers, through my faithfulness, and through my waiting. Society is very lust-filled and immoral, so why would I take advice from them?
However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.” John 16:13
I don’t have to lose my dignity to know if my husband is the one. God will whisper to my heart and let me know who my husband is without me having to commit a sin. God will whisper to my future husband’s heart that I am his wife without him having to fall into sin as well.
Hollywood bases marriage solely on lust, which is why their marriages fail. Lust is not love, and lust burns out after awhile. The man I will marry will be godly, compassionate, tender, sweet, loving, and will be a man that is seeking to be like Christ. Through his character and his love for God is how I will find out if he is “the one.”
Lust will not lead me to my husband, but instead, it will drive me further away from finding out who he is.
I am faithful to my future husband and my body rightfully belongs to him
“Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” 1 Corinthians 6:19
We live in a very feministic culture where women yell “my body, my choice,” but that is a very immoral statement. My body is not my own, but it is a temple. Whatever I do should be God-honoring and God-glorying. Not only that, but when I am married, my body then belongs to my husband and his will belong to me. God doesn’t “hate women,” for he commands the same thing out of my future husband, which is why I am expecting my husband to be waiting for me as well.
I might be a single girl, but I am faithful to the man who will get down on one knee for me and who finds me worth marrying.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22
As a future wife, I am to be submissive to my husband, but submission has been twisted out of context these days. Submission doesn’t mean my husband being a dictator, but it means him being a representation of Christ and me being respectful to him. Marriage is all about compromise and leading each other to Christ, but I also am to be faithful to my future husband even though we aren’t married yet in the areas of purity and morality.
I am waiting for my husband out of submission to him. I know that my future husband has high standards towards the woman he wants me to be, and one of his standards is probably me being strong in the pursuit of purity, and I do not plan on messing up and falling into shame. I do not want break my husband’s heart before he ever gives it to me; therefore, I will respect my husband by respecting myself.
In conclusion, these are the reasons why I am saving myself for marriage. I’m not waiting due to my parents, I am not waiting due to “fear of rejection,” and I am not waiting due to anyone “forcing me too,” but it’s my choice for I want to honor God. I find my future husband worth valuable in my eyes, so I want him to feel valued by him being able to have a very godly wife who thought of him worth waiting for.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
If you fell into sin of sexual immorality, you can still have a godly marriage. God is a forgiving God, and He is willing and just to forgive you, and you future husband will still love you for he sees you as a person who was redeemed by God. Don’t let this post make you feel ashamed of yourself, but embrace in God’s forgiveness and mercy, and one day, God will let the man who will love you and your scars regardless of what you did in your past.
Make waiting of high importance, for someone out there is waiting for you. Don’t fall for the definition of love that this world has projected, for movies do not predict real love, and most of what you see society promoting is lustful rather than being based on true love designed by God.
I am not ashamed of waiting, and you shouldn’t either, for the wait will be worth it. The journey might not be easy at times, but when you get to the finish line, you can look back and see the victory you have accomplished, and that will be the greatest feeling in your life, so make waiting a priority rather than an option.