When I was a freshman in high school, I began to read a lot of books on dating, marriage, and books on godly dating. I was a fifteen year old girl who wanted a godly marriage one day, so I began to read and pray over and over again. At this time, our school was explaining godly dating, and my English teacher gave me a book on the topic, and I began to read it. The book she gave me was called “When God Writes Your Love Story,” and there was one chapter that I pure hated at the time.
There was a chapter about living in singleness, and it bothered me deeply. I closed the book, I grew uncomfortable, and I didn’t like to see the word singleness. At this time, I was a 15 year old girl who wanted to get married really badly one day, and I thought singleness was a curse.
Each week, my friends had a new boyfriend, changed their boyfriends like underwear, and here I was not even dating. I kept asking God “When is my love story going to start,” “When will the page turn for me,” or “God have you started writing my love story yet?”
I began to panic thinking God forgot about me or that God forgot my story, and as I watched other girls enter and exit relationships, I began to worry instead of trusting Christ.
Sadly, when I hit sixteen, I jumped into a relationship, and my heart was broken after only two months due to the guy cheating on me and being very controlling. The reason I dated him was because I hated singleness and I thought God would not write the love story I dreamed of. When I was 16, I thought “God you are writing my story too slowly” or “God I want love right now, right here,” and I grew impatient.
At the time, I thought God didn’t have a love story for me, so I tried to write my own, and I failed at it, and through my heartache, I learned that I was sorely wrong with trying to write my own story when I should have been trusting God from the beginning.
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:” Ecclesiastes 3:1
I am glad that God does not work on our time, for everything works in His time and does not fail. As I am now older, I have had several friends get married now, but I refuse to open the door to desperation, for I do not want another unnecessary heartache.
I refuse to be that desperate girl again even if people around me are getting married. My mother always told me “Marry in haste, repent at leisure,” and that is most certainly true. If you jump into a marriage without even knowing the person, you will find yourself asking God for a way out, for forgiveness, and you’ll be thinking “What did I do?”
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
I do not want to marry in haste, and I am giving God the pen to my love story completely. When I was 15 and 16 years old, I held the pen tightly, for I thought God wasn’t going to give me what I wanted, and I did not realize that I was blocking God from blessing my life. I was leaning on my own understandings when I did not even know my future.
Though I haven’t even dated a guy since sophomore year of high school, I’m okay with that, because I don’t want to invest time in a guy who’s just going to break up with me when it’s not convenient anymore. Instead of holding the pen away from God, I gave it too Him and I prayed to Him about the things I wanted in a man and relationship.
I want a man who is not looking for another girlfriend, but I want a man who is looking for a godly wife, and I want a relationship that is built on Jesus Christ, godliness, love, and grace. However, I cannot find a man or a relationship like that if I prevent God from writing the story He has for me. Sure, there were times where I thought “God did you forget to write my love story,” but you don’t know what God has in store for you. Just because someone else is in another season of life does not mean God has forgotten about you.
When I look back at my younger self, I just want to go back to tell myself to slow down, to breathe, and to trust God. I thought my single years would go by very slowly, but they fly by. High school flew by very quickly, and college is flying by even faster. This past year has flown by so fast, that I don’t even know where it went.
I want to utilize the single years I have left for God’s glory. I need to prepare myself during this time, make sure my walk with Christ is where it should be, and I should make sure I am being a blessing to other people’s lives so I can be an effective blessing to my future husband’s life.
I want to thank my freshman English teacher for giving me that book, because that book challenged me and convicted me, and God taught me an ultimate lesson from it. Singleness is not a curse, but singleness gives you a time of preparation for marriage, so don’t hate it, don’t belittle it, but use it to your advantage.
Every story has a prologue, a prelude, and the beginning chapters, and the same is with the love story God is writing for you. You cannot expect the first chapter to be where everything happens, because a good story takes time, and God is not an irrational God.
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4
Patience and faith produces perseverance, and I know that one day all things will work out for my good, and God has the man I am going to marry on the path to where I am, and God will let my future husband find me when the time is right, and I trust God completely with my future.
God is the Author of love, so why would you prevent God from writing you a wonderful love story? In the meantime while I am single, I will do all I can to worship God, to be a blessing to others, to prepare myself for new seasons, and to pray for the man who is going to marry me.
I might barely have a history in dating, but I don’t care. I would rather only date my future husband than to have my heart broken by a list of ex-boyfriends. I am worth more than having my heart treated like it is nothing, so why would I carelessly give my heart away?
Don’t rush God, for He has all things working out for your good. Sometimes in the back of my mind, I wish I could skip to the end of the book, but you can’t really do that in life, and you have to go day by day. If God says that hope is in your future, then why would you doubt Him when it comes to your love life? Let go, and trust God, because He already knows your entire life story, so why question Him?