This morning, one of my friends and I went to a café to get breakfast and catch up. At one point, she asked me “What’s going on your life right now,” and I did not know where to start due how hectic my schedule is with classes, activities, and endless errands. As the conversation went on, then she asked “Any guys in your life,” and currently there is no romance happening, but I don’t worry for I’m patient.
She looked at me funnily when I mentioned that. This girl has had several guys come in and out of her life for the past few months now, and I’ve not had anyone express interest in me, but it doesn’t bother me. I told her that I am focusing my time on growing closer to Christ, and if a man comes along, then it will be in God’s timing, so I will remain patient.
Nothing beats being patient, right?
Right now, I am hoping to volunteer at this place that I’ve been interesting in helping, I’m focusing on academics, and I’m also busy with church, Bible studies, and quiet time with God and I. You won’t find a man by sitting around, but you’ll find a man when you’re busy.
Sadly, I’m again on a different boat as her. She told me that she didn’t have patience to wait for a man, and that she wanted a man “right then and there.” She thought that “patience wasn’t enough,” and that philosophy is flawed.
When she said that, I was thrown back into my days of being a 16 year old. When I was 16, I was upset that all of the other girls my age were on their third boyfriend, and I wasn’t even on number one. Needless to say, desperation does not give you a godly man, but instead, it gives you a rotten apple at the bottom of the barrel, and from that moment on, I learned that patience is key to finding godliness.
She went on to talk about she so desperately wanted to jump into a relationship due to just wanting to call a man her boyfriend. It doesn’t matter if she knows him or not, for she wants a man in her life now and not later.
I understand wanting a relationship, but sinking down into a desperate state isn’t going to help you out, but it’ll make your situation worse. I’m 20 years old, and I haven’t ever been on a proper first date yet and I haven’t even had a first kiss yet, but it doesn’t bother me, for I know one day I will. Sure, I might be so far behind in dating, but that won’t stop God from bringing my husband into my life, so why worry about what little experience I have in dating?
Since I’m 20, I am going to date with the purpose of marriage in mind. I know it may seem very young for me to say that, but I don’t want to get into bad dating habits, so I’m setting the bar high for dating. If I don’t think a man is potentially the one God has for me, then I won’t date him. Why am I going to risk my heart getting broken just so I can have a “fling” or a “6 month relationship that goes down the drain horribly?” I am not looking to add another ex-boyfriend to the list, but I am looking for a man who can be a godly and loving husband, and if you aren’t husband material, then don’t ask me out.
I’m looking for a husband, not another heartbreak, and that’s why I am okay with waiting and being patient. I would rather pass up 5 potential boyfriends and marry my husband than have 5 ex-boyfriends who weren’t Mr. Right.
But you know society, they say “Patience isn’t good enough,” and that is why you see so many heartaches, so much dysfunction, and society does not know the first thing about love. Patience produces godliness, and God cannot work in your life if you refuse to be patient.
“Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
We are told to guard our hearts, and our hearts should not be given to just anyone. I had my heart broken badly at 16, and I don’t want to endure that again. Instead of doing that, I am going to wait on God and let him bring a man into my life instead of me forcing a man into my life. Forcing something does not make God work any faster, so you might as well be patient.
‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
The Lord knows our future, and He directs our paths. He knows who my future husband is, He knows what he is doing right now, He knows the battle my future husband may be going through right now, and He is protecting and guiding my husband to me. I might not know who my husband is right now, but God does, and with the knowledge of God knowing who I will marry, I feel so much peace, for He has everything under control.
I care for my friend dearly, and I pray that she learns this lesson without having to experience a crushing heartache. Desperation will only lead you down a road that has a dead end, but patience will lead you closer to the purpose God has for you.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Desperation doesn’t give you marriage, but it gives you heartache, so remember that the next time you see yourself losing patience. The Lord knows the plans He has for you, so don’t worry or fear, for the Lord knows all things including who your spouse is, so why force something when God knows how your love story will play out?