To The Girls Who Think A Guy “Isn’t Attractive Enough,”

I try not to listen in on conversations for it is rude, but there were these girls five feet away, and they were talking as if they were 30 feet apart, so you were basically forced to listen even if you didn’t want too.

These girls were talking about a guy and how sweet he was, how godly he was, and he would be the most respectful man to her, but this girl turned him down because he didn’t “work out as much.”

As a single lady, my mouth dropped, because the man she described is the kind of man most godly women pray for.

We pray for a man who is sweet, caring, godly, who has the biggest smile, who is an all-around wonderful man, who loves God, who will always want to talk about Christ, and who will be an encouragement, and this girl has a guy just like that, but she turned him down because he didn’t go to the gym as much?

Is this girl insane, because she just turned down an amazing and godly man! It’s no wonder why guys do not understand girls right now. We say we want a sweet and kind man, but when a sweet and caring man comes along, we turn him down because he does not “meet a physical quality.”

Now, I am not going to lie. Attraction is not a sin and it’s okay to have your heart skip a beat or two at the sight of someone, but you shouldn’t just look at artificial attraction or else you’ll fall flat. Attraction isn’t just physical, but it can be a person attracted to a person’s heart or actions, and that is where true love comes in.

However, society is all about looking on the surface and that is it. They don’t look to see if they have anything in common or are compatible, and that is why we hear of a lot celebrity divorces. Even if you think a person is very good-looking, they could be the most ungodly person and the most unkind person, so you must look at the heart.

Trust me, I know from experience. My ex was a good-looking man, but he put me through an emotional roller coaster full of tears, fear, and pain, and my heart was shattered, battered, and hurt badly, and I have learned that the man I want to find is a man who is godly, sweet, gentle, and caring, and I will wait for a man like that, because I don’t want to date another man who is insensitive or harsh.

This girl is making a big mistake in turning down that guy, because she sat there and described him in full detail, and he seems to be a genuine and godly young man who’s got a big heart. I could be wrong due to not knowing the guy, but based on what I know, what girl wouldn’t want a man who is that caring?

Who cares is a person is too short or too tall?

What cares if a person is “too this” or “too that?”

Who cares if this person has short hair or long hair or brown hair or blonde hair?

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”” 1 Samuel 6:7

Why focus on the little things of the appearance that will fade away? The Lord looks at our hearts because that is where our true love and dedication for Him is found. Marriage is supposed to be a representation of Christ, and Christ loves with the heart and we should as well. We will not be young forever, we will not stay young forever, but the way we treat each other and the traits that are in our hearts will remain forever.

When it boils down to the end, physicality will not be there to help you when you are crying from a hard day, it will not be there to give you a break when your newborn is crying and you are exhausted, and it will not be there to help fix problems or storms that arise in your marriage.

Why focus on the appearance, when it won’t keep your marriage together? Find a person who is godly, who is living, who is caring, who understands what redemption means, and who will love you selflessly, and I promise you that when you find this man, he will instantly become attractive due to you seeing the rawness of his heart.

I want a man who will sit there and hold me while I cry in those moments where I cannot form words, I want a man who will be happy for me when I hit a milestone or a good moment in my life, and I want a man who will randomly remind that he loves me by a small gesture like a note in my bag or warm embrace.

Those are things that make you fall in love with someone, and the appearance isn’t love, but it’s lust. If you only like someone because of their beauty, then you aren’t in love; you are in lust. 

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-9

Love is caring, love is kind, love is never-ending, and love goes deeper than what the eye sees, and Christ is the best example of love, so re-think what love means to you. Are you striving for true love or are you being blinded by lust?

Choose to love a person by their heart, because that is where the truth attraction is found. A man who is willing to cross the oceans for you is a man worth loving, and that is a man I plan to love selflessly, passionately, and unendingly.

8 thoughts on “To The Girls Who Think A Guy “Isn’t Attractive Enough,”

  1. Looks will most definitely fade, but a person of character is of great value. I’m so thankful God gave me the precious gift I have in my wife. She is beautiful inside and out. Her godly character was known among many, and that was a non-negotiable for me and should be for anyone. Keep the standard high, Christina!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I wish many more people would see that looks fade, but the character of a person is what will always be seen. Though the outside of a person may seem appealing, the heart is always another story! God bless you, and have wonderful rest of your day! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sounds like that girl has a case of immaturity! If you’re truly walking with Jesus, God has a call on your life and the partner you’re looking for is someone who compliments that call with the call on his life. The best advice I’ve ever heard is :”don’t settle for the one you can live with; settle with the one you can’t live WITHOUT! That “husband list” I remember making up in high school listed all my own interests, likes, strengths, etc. NO where did I list “Christian (I wasn’t a true Believer then), compassionate, caring etc. The husband my Lord joined me to 36 years ago is still not a confessing Believer, I’m musical and artistic, read a lot, social. He’s mechanic/math outdoorsy, doesn’t care if he ever joins a group. God’s grace has kept us together and blessed us with 4 amazing kids and 9 totally amazing grand kids. We’re on hubby’s 4th year of retirement and the blessing of the Lord is that he’s rejoicing in the wife of his youth and more loving and kind to me than he’s ever been! PRAISE GOD from whom ALL blessings flow! (we’re even starting to think about things at the same time… which HE SAYS is SCARY!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing with me! I agree with that advice. We shouldn’t settle for a person who we can live with, but we should settle for the person who we cannot see our lives without. When we focus on looking for a person who compliments us and is compatible, then we will realize that looks aren’t the factor that’s going to land us a strong marriage! God bless you, and have a wonderful rest of your day! 🙂


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