As a young girl in her early twenties, I am praying for a long lasting relationship that has a high potential of leading to marriage, so to do that, I have been examining myself, seeing what I need to change or work on, and then I also see what standards I uphold, because you attract what you are, so if you want a person with high standards, class, and godliness, then you must be the same way.
In the 21st century, godliness means anything, so what should a godly woman search for in a godly man?
Look for a man who pursues you instead of you pursuing him
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
In today’s day, it’s “okay” for a woman to go after a man, and personally, I do not agree with that. I am a very old-fashioned girl, and if a guy wants to ask me out, then he should be the one to initiate and ask me out, because I am not going to be the one to make first moves.
In my opinion, a woman is not supposed to chase a man. If a man is interested in a woman, he should be the one to pursue the woman, because a man is the one who takes on a wife and he is the one who will eventually be the head of the household, so he should be the one making the moves.
However, in our feministic culture, a man pursuing a woman is considered “sexist,” and it isn’t. Proverbs 31 was written for men so they know what kind of woman to pursue; therefore, it was never a woman’s job to chase after a man, because a man should pursue a woman.
If a man isn’t willing to pursue you, then it means he wasn’t serious enough to start with.
Look for a man who respects your purity
Purity is out the window in 2018. When we look at Hollywood, we see so much sexual assault happening, and this is the direct result of telling people that they can have sex with anyone without consequences.
When it comes to dating and marriage, seek a man who will respect your purity and uphold the same values. When you date a man who views sex as “nonchalant” and has had sex with multiple women, he can potentially compare you to them, it won’t be as special, and it also means he’s had intimate connections with other women that were not his wife, and I don’t want that in my marriage.
Seek a man who waits, who views purity as important, who views it as sacred, because sex is sacred between a man and a wife. Whatever you do while you are single will eventually show up when you are married, so what you are doing right now can and will impact your relationship with your future husband, so look for a man who cares about your purity and will encourage you to wait.
Look for a man who is not afraid to correct you
Sometimes, we all fall into temptation or moments where we are weak, and you should look for a man who will warn you when he sees that you are falling into sin. If a man isn’t wiling to lovingly correct you, then does he really care about your walk with Christ?
“Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.”” John 7:24
We are all told to keep each other in check, and you want to be able to trust a man to be able to correct you if you aren’t aware of what you are doing. I am not perfect and I mess up, and the number one thing I pray to find, is a man who is not afraid to confront me and respectfully tell me that I am heading down a road that does not have a happy result. Personally, I believe that this is a big sign of someone loving you, because it means they care about your walk with Christ and do not want to see you stumble.
Look for a man who smiles
Smiling says a whole lot about a person, and it shows positivity, joy, and happiness. Though the appearance is not the biggest factor when looking for someone, I do want a man to have some physical traits such as: smiles all the time, has eyes filled with joy instead of dullness, and has Christ radiating from his countenance.
No matter what trials you go through on this earth, you always have a reason to smile, because Jesus gave you a reason to smile! I try to smile no matter what, because no matter how hard Satan tries to knock me down, he will never be able to take away the joy that the Lord has given me, and I want to find a man who has that same view.
Smiling is contagious, and you want to find someone who strives to be positive instead of negative, for negativity does not bring us closer to God.
Look for a man who loves children
I don’t know about you, but I want a big family. I love children, and I would love to at least have four children, and then I also want to adopt from China, so personally, I want to find a man who doesn’t mind having a big family, but I know that not everyone wants a big family. However, if a man hates children, then that raises a lot of red flags.
Why would a person hate children? Children are innocent, sweet, loving, and adorable, so it would take a man with no heart to hate children, and that is the kind of person you should stay away from.
Look for a man who seeks the Lord
This one is very obvious, but it’s one of the most important ones. You cannot find a man with the above qualities if he isn’t godly, so look for a man who is set on seeking the Lord, for a godly relationship is worth the wait.
Look for a man who has a strong prayer life
“pray without ceasing,” 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Prayer is one of the best ways to communicate with God, and we are told to pray without ceasing, so look for a man with a strong prayer life, because you are only as strong as your prayer life. The biggest form of love there is, is when a man prays for you without you knowing it.
Look for a man who knows what he wants in the future
“He who tills his land will be satisfied with bread,
But he who follows frivolity is devoid of understanding.” Proverbs 12:11
Ambition is important, for you want someone who knows what they want in the future. What career does he have? What future goals does he want to achieve? What long-term and short-term goals does he have envisioned?
A man who is diligent and ambitious is worth waiting for, for you want a man who is able to lead you and your children. A man who has no idea where he is going will not be able to lead you closer to Christ for he will have no sense of direction; therefore, seek a man who has goals, dreams, and desires.
The most important thing other than a man loving Jesus Christ, would be this:
Look for a man who respects his mother.
The way a man treats his mother is the way he will eventually treat you. If he doesn’t love and respect his mom, then how do you expect him to love you? A man should love his mom because she gave him life, she loved him, she sacrificed for him, and raised him, and if a man cannot love his mom, then it is impossible for him to love another woman.
Jesus had a mother, and He loved and respected her, and a man is supposed to love you like Christ loved the Church, and in order for him to do that, he must love and have the upmost respect for his mom, for he cannot respect another woman if he doesn’t respect his mother.
Dating standards are different for everyone, but this is what I pray and look for in a man, and I refuse to settle for less. I refuse to settle for just an average man, but I want a godly man who rises to high standards, and a man like that takes patience and waiting, but it’s worth it.
On a side note:
Don’t forget to examine yourself, because you have to be able to live up to a man’s expectations as well, for high standards do not go just one way. I cannot expect a man to have a strong prayer life if I don’t have one, so I must follow the same expectations that I have listed myself, so always make sure to examine your heart and ask yourself if you would attract godliness, because like I mentioned; you attract what you are.