The flu has hit everyone in my house full force this week, and it has been pretty hectic. Thank God for Lysol, right?
Anyways, as I was reading last night, I was reflecting on a conversation my sister and I had late at night.
My sister asked me about guys, about dating, and the regular things a girl her age would ask. I remember being a 17 year old girl asking the same questions, so today’s post reflects from that conversation, and I feel like this is a question most girls ask.
“How do I become a lady worth pursuing?”
Ladies focus their attentions on the wrong things. We focus solely on meeting Prince Charming, our “knight in shinning armor,” but we don’t focus on ourselves, because our future husbands aren’t going to come around if we aren’t worth seeking.
Harsh? Maybe, but it is true. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t focus on a man who wasn’t focused on Christ or wasn’t focused on things that are of a Christ-like pursuit, so the same goes towards to a woman. You cannot expect a man to pursue you if you aren’t worth putting to start with.
So how can you be?
Though I am still single myself, I work on myself to make sure that when Mr. Right does come around, he won’t hesitate in pursuing me, so I have learned a few tips along the way. From books about godly dating, from prayer, from my friends who are married, and from observing married couples, I’ve learned a few tips one how to be a woman worth pursuing.
1. Selfless
She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20
Being selfless is one of the most important things, because a Proverbs 31 woman is selfless, she thinks of others, she helps those who are in need, and she is a blessing to everyone and to every place she walks into.
Being selfless means putting yourself last, and if you aren’t willing to do that, then how can you love someone? Marriage is all about sacrifice, it is all about the other person, and it is all about giving.
2. Ambitious
The one thing that grabs the attention to a person are ambitions. Like I’ve always said “Looks aren’t everything,” and they aren’t. What are you passionate about? What is the one thing you wish you could end? What do you want to do with your life?
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”” Joshua 1:9
A person is attracted to a person who has goals, who is ambitious because it shows a determined spirit, it shows a spirit that will not quit even when she is knocked down, and it shows that you are bold and courageous just like we are told to be.
3. Inspirational
We all have a story. Whether your story is about this or that, you can inspire someone, and that is one of the best qualities a person can have. When you get married, you want to be an inspiration to your spouse. You want to be the reason they want to be better, and you want to be the role model you would want your children to look up too.
“Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Perfection doesn’t exist, and a person who is inspiring can turn heads faster than a person who rises to every beauty standard, because the heart is more important, and your story makes up who you are, so embrace it, use it, and inspire others to be strong in Christ.
4. Gentleness
The two characteristics that society lacks are gentleness and compassion, and these two are the most important for a woman who wants to be worth pursuing. When you get married, you will hit rough patches, you will need to be able to be compassionate, to be gentle, and to not let the situation make you blow up or become insensitive.
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;” Colossians 3:12
Not everything is always going to be okay, so the qualities we should all work on are compassion and gentleness, because those are the two qualities that are needed to make a relationship work.
I saved the most important one for last, because without this one, you cannot have 1-4.
5. Act like a godly woman because you are a godly woman
“Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.” Proverbs 31:25
You can’t get a godly man if you aren’t a godly woman. The cards don’t go just one way, but they go both ways. You need to act the part, be the part, and know your worth. You cannot partake of society, but then still pray for a godly man, because he doesn’t want a woman who is half-in and half-out.
If you claim to love Christ, you have to live like Christ, you have to strive to be like Christ, and you must seek Christ. A godly woman knows that her worth is far past what this world can give her, and she doesn’t allow society to make her trip.
I’m going to leave this off with a quote that I always see everywhere, and I have no idea who it is by, but I still feel it is important;
To add to that list is 1. Realizing that your identity is found in Christ, not in a man and 2. Love, God has called me to do, but change is His alone, 3. Watch my thoughts, because Satan can use my thoughts, which will turn to actions against me
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Also note, nothing really prepares you for marriage completely, except marriage itself. The Lord Himself will use marriage to grow you and draw you closer to Himself. You had some Great 👍 tips
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I agree! Though we can try to prepare ourselves, we can never be fully ready, for marriage is full of growth and learning, and with God as our guide, He can direct us towards the right path!
God bless you, and have a wonderful night! 🙂
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A very well thought out and well-written post, Christina! God bless you and thank you.
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Thank you so much, Steven! God bless you as well! 🙂
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Great post as always 🙂 Be as prepared as you can, but marriage will also help you grow. Your husband should always call you to be more like the person God wants you to be, and sometimes it will be painful, but so worth it!
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I most certainly agree with you! I pray that my future husband encourages me to be better and to be more like Christ. You are right; even if it is painful, it is worth it in the end!
God bless you, and have a wonderful night! 🙂
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But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3
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