This post has the high potential of turning into a deep post, because the words “husband” and “broken” are in the title, and I take my future husband very seriously, so who knows, but we’ll find out!
I have written about how I have written letters to my future husband before, but tonight, I was truly inspired to write a post dedicated to this, for I believe that it is okay to be vulnerable and to be open.
Vulnerability is a gift that so many people want to “return to sender,” but I refuse to do that, and I embrace my emotions and feelings as a human being; therefore, tonight’s post will be different, but it is still coming from a place deep in my heart that I want to share with others.
Dear Future Husband,
The day you marry me, will be the day you realize how much I loved you before I even knew the way your eyes light up when you smile, before I knew what your pet peeves were, before I knew what your faults were, and before I knew what your last name was.
I never intended to post a letter to the entire internet, or the universe, to see. I intended for you, and you alone, to be the only man to read the letters that have hidden in my lock box behind my bookshelf in my room.
When I was a 4 year old girl, I imagined you as a tall man, who looked like Prince Charming, who lived in a castle, and who would love me forever and ever with no end, but as I got older, I realized that Prince Charming doesn’t exist because perfection doesn’t exist.
4 year old me thought of you as perfect, as the best man ever, but I know you aren’t perfect, and I don’t expect you to be. I am far from perfect. I have found myself broken many times before, so I do not expect you to rise to perfection if I cannot.
Jesus was the only man who was perfect on this earth, and though I know you strive to be like Christ, you still fail, but don’t let that be a “stumbling block,” because I’ll love you in you darkest, because He loved you in those moments too!
I’ll love you even if you are a broken mess, because I don’t want you to act like “you have it all together,” because it’s okay if you don’t have everything in order. You are my future husband, so instead of condemning you in your brokenness, I plan to take your hand and walk you towards Christ when you feel as if you cannot walk another step, because as your future wife, I will stand by you and never leave you.
It’s okay to be broken,
It’s okay to fall apart,
It’s okay to feel like your world is imploding,
Because by His stripes, we are healed.
Though I am in love with the happy side of you who smiles constantly, I am also in love with the side of you who is not afraid to cry, who is not afraid to admit that he’s afraid, and who feels like darkness is caving in.
Even if you’re a mess, I love you, because I don’t want a perfect husband. If I wanted a perfect husband, then I would not be writing this letter, now would I?
I’ll marry you even if you’re a mess, even if you’re broken, even if you have tears streaming down your face, and I’ll love you even if you don’t love yourself, because if Christ can love you in your darkest, then I can love you in the depths of darkness as well.
I’ll be by your side when tragedy strikes, I’ll be by your side when you feel your faith being tested, and I’ll be there to encourage and help you, for marriage is about standing hand in hand into through life’s challenges with Christ as our foundation.
A lot of ladies believe that marriage is all about the wedding day, but it isn’t. I was made to be your helper, your encouragement, your supporter, and to be there for you so you aren’t alone. I know what it is like to be broken, and I am not afraid to share that with people and I am not afraid to let them know that I am not that “Picture perfect girl” who has everything together, because I don’t.
Don’t beat yourself up on things you cannot change, because I love you regardless. I love the you that people do not see, I love the you that isn’t strong, and I love the you that God loves, and I want to love the raw side of you, because that raw side understands the grace of Jesus.
We are redeemed by His grace, which is sufficient for us. 1 John 1:9 explains how Jesus is willing and just to forgive us, so instead of living in the past, we live with eagerness for the future where happiness, joy, and hope live, which my future also includes marrying you!
I hope you let go of whatever you have in your past, because it doesn’t change my love towards you, and it never will. I do not care how bad of a past you had, it will not make me run away, I promise. How could I run away from the man who would get down on one knee and ask me to be his wife through sickness and in health?
We are all broken, because Jesus had to die for us, and His death showed us that we all were broken, damaged, and hurting, so stop hating yourself, and forgive yourself.
I could say “I love you” a million times, so please don’t try to be a perfect man, because you aren’t, and I will still be madly in love with you, which includes me loving your flaws and imperfections! As I’ve grown throughout the years, I learned that perfection gives no room to learn, and we all need to learn.
As I continue to learn how to let go of things I cannot change, I pray that you do the same, because I love you even if you are a mess, for you are a handsome mess that I love with all of my heart, and you will one day be the man I wake up to each morning, you are the man who will be the father of our children, and you are the man that will walk with me closer to Jesus.
I do not care if you are not the “cookie-cutter” guy that all the girls want to marry, because if you heart is set on Christ, if your heart is full of love and kindness, and if you are set on doing all things for God, then that makes you a man worth loving.
I’ll be more than honored to be the woman who gets to marry you, and to all those women who rejected you in the past, they are insane to let you go, for I think it is an honor to marry you, even if I am unaware of who you are right now.
With all of my love,
Your future wife, Christina
I am my beloved’s,
And my beloved is mine.
He feeds his flock among the lilies.” Song of Solomon 6:3