To all the ladies, are you kind or just nice?
I want you to honestly answer that and choose the one you believe you are. Are you wondering if there is a difference? There is! I was reading something about this topic in a book I read a long time ago, and it made me think about this subject recently due to all that I see happening.
To all of the ladies who are confused, being nice is to avoid confrontation, to satisfy, be agreeable, and to conform, but kindness means to be generous, helpful, and selfless.
See the difference? One is to please man and the other is to be a kind Samaritan. As I read about godly women throughout Scripture, I never once hear of a woman being just “nice,” but I hear of her being kind and godly. Kindness is requires action, but is also means a woman is wise on the Gospel, and knows not to please man.
God doesn’t want just a nice woman. In fact, He wants us to be kind rather than nice, because, again, kindness is an action while being “nice” is just the thought that crosses a person’s mind about you. Kindness means that someone will remember you for what you did, you were supportive, kind, helpful, loving, and not willing to conform to the world.
Being nice just means complimenting the person, wanting to make sure everyone is pleased, making sure you have a good presentation in front of others, and to try to fit in, but is that really what God wants from us?
We live in a society full of “nice” people who agree with every little thing. Society has agreed to “redefine marriage,” “accept more than two genders,” and “let people live the way they want.” Society says that it’s “nice” to accept a person the way they are and to agree with their right to live, and this is ungodly.
The reason for the manic we see in our Godless society is because people want to be “nice” and not offend anyone. You have women like Beyoncé who people say is “nice” due to how accepting she is. Then you have women like Hilary Clinton who is called “nice” because she is open to new ideas.
“Let the righteous strike me;
It shall be a kindness.
And let him rebuke me;
It shall be as excellent oil;
Let my head not refuse it.
For still my prayer is against the deeds of the wicked.” Psalm 141:5
Being kind, on the other hand, is what no ungodly woman wants to be, for it requires truth and selflessness. Kindness is correcting someone when they are wrong so that they might learn, giving to them without expecting anything in return, and it is by being like Christ so this world will know more about Him.
Kindness is by doing to others that you would want done to you, and when I look at society, they only want to help themselves. We live in a “What can I get out of this” society, and while the world is full of presumed “nice” people, how many of them are truly kind?
How many women in this society would go out of their way to make sure others have even if they do not? How many women in this society have the best interests of others in mind rather than what they can receive, and how many women in this society are willing to look a person in the eye and say “We need to talk about your choices, and explain why they are destructive?”
Not one of the nice women in this society would be able to do that, because they are people pleasers, they are afraid, and they are secretly ashamed of the truth. They want to hide the truth and they want to tell everyone “It’s okay, you can do what you want and still have my support,” and they want to have the world fall down at their feet, because self-glorification increases one’s pride.
This ladies, is the difference between a kind woman and a nice woman. One is courageous and wise and the other is afraid and foolish.
God defined what a kind woman was, and she is a woman who seeks God, who’s worth is more than rubies, who seeks to have her mind set on Him, who helps others unendingly, who puts herself last, and who wants to love like Christ due to Him loving her. Being kind is not a woman wanting to be nice, but it is her wanting to live and act in such a way that others see Christ through her actions.
So ladies, there is a reason we are called to have kindness written on our tongues, because we live in a time where two opposite things are being combined as one. The societal woman is wanting to say that there is no “difference” between her and the godly woman, but there is a huge differentiating factor between the two.
For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10
A nice woman pleases with no second thought due to the fear of being called “hateful,” “bigoted,” or “unaccepting. Our goal as believers isn’t to please this world, for this world already hates Christ, but our goal is to spread the love of Christ so that they may accept Him! Yes, this will require us to say sin is wrong, this will require us to say that our society is wrong, and this will cause backlash, but if you are willing to fight for the souls of this world with no fear of their retaliation, then that is one of the greatest acts of kindness you could ever do!
“She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26
So to the ladies reading, choose to be a kind woman rather than settling to be just a “nice woman.” Be a kind woman who speaks with wisdom rather than fear, because you have God on your side, and if God is for us then who can be against us?