My mom is everything to me; my supporter, my “partner in crime,” and the person who wanted to be my mother when no one else did. She was always there for me at every concert I had, every event I was apart of, and she was there for it all, and just recently, my mom had a major heart attack that has caused her health to decline badly.
Fear went throughout my entire body, and I instantly jumped up and ran out the door with tears down my face. I ran to my car as quickly as possible as the tears clouded my vision, my heart pounding, and with me praying “God don’t take her now! Please don’t take her!”
I sped all the way to the hospital while my hands were shaking as they tried to hold onto the steering wheel. With each second that passed, my heartbeat quickened and quickened. However, my worst fears came to life when I was in the hospital.
As I sat there, the news I received made me collapse on the floor in pure tears! My body went limp, the tears wouldn’t stop, and I was scared. “All of her arteries are clogged, and the doctor is saying she may need a triple bypass surgery.” All of this felt very familiar, and you want to know why?
My father died a year earlier from the same exact thing! My dad’s arteries were clogged, he needed a bypass, but they refused to operate due to how weak he was, and he was in the same shape my mother was in.
I felt like I was reliving my dad’s death. I was crying my eyes out, and I tried looking out the window at the horrible looking storm clouds to fixate my eyes on that instead of them blurring with tears that were threatening to spill and overflow down my face.
All I could think was “She can’t die! God she cannot die, for she has a lot to live for!” I was begging Him, I was crying, and I was praying that history would not repeat itself. By this point, I got the chance to speak to my mother one-on-one, and I cried as I hugged her.
I begged my mom to stay strong, to keep fighting, and to keep her faith strong. I kept telling her how much I loved her, how much I am thankful for her, and how much I will always be there for her, because I never got to say goodbye to my dad, and I wanted to make sure I at least made sure to tell her just incase anything were to happen.
I was too weak to pick up the phone to call someone. I was scared for my mother, I was in tears, and I was broken, so the only person I could talk to was God. I poured my heart out to Him, I laid my heart out on the floor, and I asked for peace and comfort.
Later that night, I read about faith and trials, and though I have read about trials so many times in my life before, this time made those verses even more real.
“knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:3-4
Through my trials, perseverance will be produced! Though this is a trial that my mother is facing, I believe that endurance will be the result and our faith will be made strong! He makes us whole, He makes us complete, and we will never lack anything! Though our trials try to make us feel like there is a void, He is the one to surround us with complete love, peace, and comfort.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
I believe that He knows my mom’s future, and I believe that He is in control, and though the human side of me is hurting, aching, and wanting to let that pain creep in, I must not let that hinder me, cloud my vision, or make me forget the joy that we have in Jesus Christ. Through Jesus Christ, we have a way to the Father, and that gives me peace.
This world has no claims on my mother, for she is a child of God! She is wonderful, amazing, beautiful, and is a fighter! My mom is the strongest woman I know, and I am so glad to call her my mom!
“For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5
Though life right now is hectic, I know that though there is pain in the night, joy comes in the morning, and that brings me peace that calms all my fears and doubts. The Lord thinks thoughts of hope towards my mom’s future, so why would I think of disaster when that’s not what He has in store for her?
To everyone reading this, when disaster or sorrow strikes, remember that! He has a plan for you and He has everything mapped out! Have faith, and let Him make you strong, because through Him you are made strong!