I know that I’ve been posting a lot about dating for the past few posts, but I just feel led to talk about these topics. The Lord has been laying this post on my heart for the past few days, and there may be some people out there who need it!
When I was a sophomore in high school, I never had a boyfriend and I was a sixteen year old girl. When I would go on Instagram or Facebook, I would see that everyone else was either on their third of fourth boyfriend, so I felt like the odd girl out. I began to become restless, upset, and desperate. I would think things on the lines of “Why can’t I date someone?” or “Why can’t I be happy?”
Christ heard me, and He taught me a valuable lesson; “Watch what you ask for,” and now I do. I met a guy, but he was horrible. He had no standards, no class, didn’t care about Christ, but he would like to make himself look like the perfect man that every girl dreamed of having, but soon, he let his true colors shine, and he turned into the man that no girl would ever want.
The relationship went sour really fast, and one day Christ began to speak to me. I was scrolling through my phone when Lord began dealing with me. He was telling me that I deserved better, that I was worth more than someone’s doormat, but I couldn’t believe it. I did dump him, but I asked him back the next day because of my desperation. Instead of trusting Christ, I went by my own strengths, which was a big mistake.
Later that day when we got back together, the Lord again began to deal with me, but He was more prominent this time. All of a sudden, I felt the burden of the relationship on my heart, I saw the ugliness of my ex’s ways, and it began to bother me to the point that my ex would continuously ask me “Are you okay” or “You’re happy with our relationship, right.” Christ was showing me how this relationship was affecting me and how burdening it was.
I still remained stubborn and it took me a full month since that incident to finally break up with him. Looking back now, I wonder “How did I settle for him?” We began to break apart and become distant after awhile due to him being busy.
However, I felt like this was the best time for me to end the relationship. Hours before we finally broke up for good, Jesus began to deal with my heart again. He would tell me that I was worth more than that and that I deserved better. It was in that moment that I realized I was more than that, for Christ thought I was worth dying for.
Exactly an hour before I dumped him, I went out to lunch with my mom and another family member, and can you guess what happened? My mom randomly said “Christina, I think it’s time you dump him.” Randomly at the table, my mom just spoke those words, which made me stop dead in my tracts.
God was using people to get to me and to make me realize what I needed to do. That day, I did dump him, and when I did, I felt relief! That weight was gone, and it was as if I could breath. From then on, I decided that I would trust Christ with my dating life.
“She is more precious than rubies,
And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15
There is a reason why I told you my story, and there is one underlying thing that I hope you caught onto while reading this. If anyone is in a relationship that they know isn’t right or of God, then you need to end it! You are worth more than dirt, so why be treated like dirt? Christ says you are worth more than rubies, and if a man doesn’t agree with that, then don’t say “Yes” to going out with him.
Right now, there is probably someone who was in my shoes. You are in a relationship where you know that you deserve better, but you can’t dump that person because you are afraid of what will happen, but how can you expect God’s blessings when you are settling for less?
Since my ex, I haven’t dated any other guys yet, and though I get frustrated at times, I remember that Christ has my future in His hands. Though there may be no one right now, that doesn’t mean there won’t be someone in the future. The present doesn’t define the future, but Christ does know the future and what my life holds.
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
God fills us with joy and peace for we believe that He will make all things work together for our good. Christ knows the future, He already knows what’s in our future, and He promises to give us a hope and no disaster! Therefore, with that in mind, we should have faith in God when it comes to our dating lives.
To all of the singles who are in the same boat as me, don’t do what I did when I was desperate. Instead, take this time to grow your walk with Christ and to become the person that your future spouse would want to marry.
Like I said in my last blog post, respect your future spouse now by finding your worth in Jesus! While you don’t have someone right now, take this time to grow strong in Christ, obtain the traits you would want in a spouse, and trust Christ fully!
“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or by the does of the field,
Do not stir up nor awaken love
Until it pleases.” Song of Solomon 2:7
Love will awaken when it is supposed to, so do not force love to happen for Christ will determine when you meet your future spouse. When you fall in love, it will be on God’s timing and not on ours! Never settle for less than what you deserve! If you know someone is not worth it, then don’t date them. You are saving yourself a lot of heartbreak when you say “No” to a relationship that you know is poison wrapped in candy.
I hope my story helped someone out there understand their worth! You are worth more than someone who will break your heart when they move on to someone else and you are worth more than someone who will not view you as a child of the one true King. The only person you should settle for, is the person God has for you. In conclusion, do not settle for people who aren’t the one for you, for they will soon cause you pain instead of joy and love.