In today’s day, there is no such thing as having high standards due to the thought of being “too picky,” but that is certainly not true. I am pretty sure we have all seen those people on Facebook who post about being in love with twenty different people throughout the year and then we see those who have lower standards due to being afraid of being alone. Both of these views are wrong, and as Christians, we must have high standards, which isn’t a crime, so what standards should we uphold?
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
This passage from 1 Corinthians lays down the blueprint for our standards, so when you see someone or meet someone, put them to the test. Is that person kind and is willing to go through hard times with you? Does the person stay humble and refuses to be envious? Is the person polite, puts others before themselves, and does not think of evil things? Does that person rejoice in truth and hates iniquity? Does that person bear, believe, hope, and endure all things?
These are the standards we should have when it comes to dating. Though many people would call this picky, you should be picky when it comes to getting married, for if you want to be led to the one Christ has for you, you have to say “No” to desperation.
“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”” 1 Corinthians 15:33
Bad company ruins good morals, which is why you see so many people advise Christians to have high standards when it comes to dating. When you date someone, you invest in them, but if they do not have a walk with Christ or aren’t close to Christ, then that hinders your walk with Christ. A godly relationship has Christ as the main focal point, but if the person you are dating doesn’t care about their faith or doesn’t believe, then you will see a decline in your own walk with Jesus.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
As Christians, we shouldn’t date or marry someone who isn’t a Christian, for why would you marry someone who doesn’t believe in Jesus? 2 Corinthians even asks “For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness,” and this is true. Missionary dating isn’t an excuse, for you don’t have to date someone to lead them to Christ. When it comes to dating, don’t become desperate for everyone.
““Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them.” Matthew 7:15-20
Though a person may say they are a Christian, don’t let that be your sole checklist. Anyone can say they are a Christian, but that doesn’t mean that they are. Mathew says that you will know them by their fruits, so we must see if they do bare fruit. We must see if they have love, joy, gentleness, faithfulness, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, and self-control. Now, we will all struggle in one of these areas for we aren’t perfect. Some may not be as patient while others may not be as good at having peace, but there is one thing about it, we will all have the fruits of the spirit even if we are weak in an area.
Therefore, when it comes to dating, keep your standards high. Though many around you may be on their third or fourth love interest this month, you can have the reassurance that you are waiting for the one God has for you. It is better to have standards than to date someone who doesn’t have any standards. Dating someone who has no class, no respect, and no walk with Christ is miserable, so if you want a long lasting relationship, then obtain standards and wait on the match God has for you, for you can never go wrong with waiting on God’s timing.